Day 1

This is not my first Day 1. After a 60 day sober stretch a few months ago, I decided that I would try to moderate. Within a day or so, I was back to all my usual habits and drinking more than ever. I went through the summer, desperately trying to moderate; but it didn’t work. So I kept starting on Day 1: I’d do a couple of days, maybe even three, but then my resolve would waver and I’d talk myself out of it.

Today, a dear friend suggested I try a 30 day stretch, as well as starting a blog to write about my experiences every day for the next 30 days. So that’s what I’m going to try and do.

I woke up this morning feeling liverish and ill. I’d done 4 days sober, but then we’d had people for dinner and my good intentions were immediately quashed. I didn’t even have an internal debate with myself: I just dived right in. Drink after drink, and goodness knows what rubbish I spouted. Everyone was drinking except for one lady who I noticed only had ONE GLASS of champagne which she drank really slowly and then she had water. If only I could do that!  I felt completely out of control, and what is worse I didn’t mind. But today I do mind and I want to do something about it.