Day 1

This is not my first Day 1. After a 60 day sober stretch a few months ago, I decided that I would try to moderate. Within a day or so, I was back to all my usual habits and drinking more than ever. I went through the summer, desperately trying to moderate; but it didn’t work. So I kept starting on Day 1: I’d do a couple of days, maybe even three, but then my resolve would waver and I’d talk myself out of it.

Today, a dear friend suggested I try a 30 day stretch, as well as starting a blog to write about my experiences every day for the next 30 days. So that’s what I’m going to try and do.

I woke up this morning feeling liverish and ill. I’d done 4 days sober, but then we’d had people for dinner and my good intentions were immediately quashed. I didn’t even have an internal debate with myself: I just dived right in. Drink after drink, and goodness knows what rubbish I spouted. Everyone was drinking except for one lady who I noticed only had ONE GLASS of champagne which she drank really slowly and then she had water. If only I could do that!  I felt completely out of control, and what is worse I didn’t mind. But today I do mind and I want to do something about it.

 

 

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24 thoughts on “Day 1”

  1. I wish you luck and courage on your journey. Sounds like you’re tired of the other path so hope you find faith in this different way. Hold tight for 30 days. I’ll be here!

    1. Thank you, Bea. My first comment! Yes, I was definitly tired of my other path. I’m hoping this daily blog work will help. Glad you’re here! Annie x

  2. I wish you luck too.. you can do this. You just have to not drink ever again!!!! It’s that simple!!!!!!! Ok it’s not that simple.. it’s actually really difficult because you have to re-train your brain and deal with cravings and get used to being raw and emotional all the time and learn how to have fun without booze etc etc etc… BUT all those things are completely do-able because many thousands of us have done it. You WILL get to a place where you don’t miss booze. You WILL discover you can have fun without it. You WILL grow to love the real raw emotional authentic you.. all these things will happen. You just have to not drink. Will add you to my blog list now – go you!!!!!!!!!! xxxx

    1. Mrs D! Thank you so much for your comment and for your support. You always make me laugh which is important as I don’t feel much like laughing at the moment. Love the fact that I’ve got good vibes from New Zealand. Annie x

  3. I know. It’s always fascinating watching people who seem to take one sip an hour, or don’t even finish their drink. Thanks for your comment! I’m hoping blogging will be my missing link. Annie x

  4. Good luck with starting again. You’re in good company. We’ve all been there. I remember sitting at the kitchen table disgusted with myself and feeling so ill. Wanting to stop making such a fool of myself but not wanting to give up the booze completely. Most of us wish that we could drink in moderation. I’ve tried … and tried …. and FAILED so many times. I can’t do it and I’ve realised there is no point in wishing for it anymore. It isn’t going to happen (sadly). But, you do learn to live without alcohol and it does get easier. I think there will always be ups and downs but on the whole, life is much better without the booze. I still have to remind myself quite often. Have you come across Belle’s 100 Day challenge and Unpickled’s blog? They were the two that kick-started it for me. Reading their blogs made me think of it as an exciting adventure and I really wanted to be part of it.

    1. Thanks so much for commenting. Yes, I’m doing the 100 day challenge (I’ve tried it before and got to 61 days. Very important that it was 61, not 60…), and Unpickled’s blog was the first blog I ever read, back in April. She has been of huge importance to me. The blogosphere is great! Annie x

  5. You can do this Annie! Thank you for your honesty, I will appreciate following your journey. We are on the same path! Walking beside each other, we can do this together…you are not alone. Xo

  6. Hello Annie,
    I’m working myself up to DAY ONE. At best it would seem I’m over-complicating it, but it’s just how I roll. I’ll be cheering for you as I’m on the path right behind you – Blaze On !
    ~..~ vlm

  7. Annie, look at all the support you are getting already here from so many wise, wonderful, amazing people! You are also wise, wonderful, and amazing! You have helped me so much this summer. Thank you my friend. I am so happy to be able comment here. I know you can do this again. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It is a great time of year for a fresh start! And it is so smart to reach out to those who can really help us. Like you, I still have a LOT OF WORK to do to get to where Mrs. D, Jean, and Belle are. It is so wonderful for us to hear from these women who are happy and confident in knowing that they do not need alcohol to have fun or wind down or for any reason! One day at time my friend and you will build that momentum again! (Via 112 Days today)

    1. 112 days is amazing! You’re doing so well, my friend! Your faith in me has helped me to restart, so thank you. I just hope I don’t crumble around the Day 4/5 mark which has been my routine lately. Annie x

    1. I think it was you who first suggested I write a blog, ages ago when I first started out! At that time, I couldn’t imagine doing it. So maybe I am progressing, little by little. Annie x

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