I haven’t failed yet. But I don’t think I want to do this anymore.
I know I’m letting lots of people down, and I’m sorry. I wanted to disappear but I don’t want people wondering where I’ve gone, so I thought I should write another post.
I’m feeling so bad about this that I barely know what to write.
A Dappled Path 
What is it you don’t want to do anymore – blog about your journey or not drink? Or both! 🙂
Hi Annie, hope you’re OK. If you want to email me I’m at moretomethanthis@gmail.com. Blogs don’t matter. What other people think doesn’t matter. But you do matter, very much. Take care of yourself. Hugs. xx
I’ve just emailed you but I want to say it here, too. In movies when someone is being strangled they fight and struggle with their last breaths. That is what your addiction is doing right now. It sees that you are doing well, it knows that you are trying to do away with it, and it is fighting back hard even as you are killing it. Don’t stop, Annie – you can overcome this. Close your eyes and see the difference between your higher self who wants to be alcohol free and the addicted part of your brain that’s trained to do everything possible to keep you drinking. Tell that addicted brain to shut up and back off. You have work to do. You mean business. Don’t wienie out, you have this and you want to succeed or you wouldn’t have been so brave as to write honestly about the struggle.
Annie, this is a very hard path. But I promise you the rewards are more than worth the effort. And you know how hard it is but you haven’t had time to reap the rewards yet. Give yourself time. You are worth it. Let us know how you are, yes? You owe nothing to anyone except yourself. Xx
Annie, no matter what, you are not a failure. I, too, am having very hard days this time around and sometimes it just feels hopeless, but I’m trying so hard this time to see what’s on the OTHER side. What is it we’ve been missing. We all have been where you are and where I am. Just keep writing about the journey. It is in the journey that we learn what we truly need and want in life. xo
Just have a quiet think before you pack it all in. What are you going to feel like the day after you’ve started to drink again? You’re not letting us down but will you be disappointed in yourself? What is it that makes you keep returning to the idea of giving up the booze? There must be something about it you don’t like. E-mail me if you want a chat : jacksonjanemarie@gmail.com