Older but not yet wiser

So, today I am 44. I’m mid-way through my birthday and I’ve just hit the question: can I have champagne tonight? I asked myself this earlier today, and I said yes! I asked my husband just now and he looked doubtful. ‘You could have just one glass,’ he suggested, ‘but no more.’ But then I’d break my promise, and I’d be back to Day 1 again, and these past 7 days have been the longest ever.

Yesterday’s lunch went well, and everyone had fizzy water. No problems there, and I enjoyed it. But today – this whole birthday thing is making me anxious. Talk about a roller coaster: one minute I’m waking up, so relieved that I’ve reached another day without drinking; the next, I’m planning my Escape from the Blog, from myself.

12 thoughts on “Older but not yet wiser”

  1. I was exactly the same in the early days so please don’t be hard on yourself. Happy Birthday!! I was 44 when I last had a drink too. I guess the question is: would one glass of champagne slake the thirst? For me it wouldn’t so it just didn’t feel worth it 🙂

  2. That roller coaster of emotions will last a while. It’s what drinking was numbing out.
    But with the anxiety also comes moments of bliss.those moments of bliss are worth relearning how to deal with the negatives too.

    You are worth. Give yourself the gift of a sober birthday.

  3. day 7 + Saturday night + birthday = perfect storm!

    it is always your choice. you get to choose today and every day whether or not to drink. what would you like to remember about today?

    I would say, hang in there, it’s worth it. but it’s always up to you. not to us, not to your husband. oh – and Happy Birthday!

  4. happy birthday! maybe go to the movies or something that doesn’t give you the option of a drink, but still gets you out of the house? I’m so happy to hear you got thru that lunch yesterday without any trouble!! I would think that would be harder and more tempting than a night with your husband. good luck!!! we’re here either way!!

  5. Happy birthday!! Hope you have a a great day, and try not to spend the day stressing over the champagne question, whatever you decide to do. FWIW, champagne was the last thing I ever drank, most of a bottle, and I didn’t enjoy it. Wishing you all the best. xx

  6. Happy birthday, beautiful soul! I can’t think of a better way to celebrate than with a tribute to freedom and strength, moving forward by keeping alcohol free rather than hanging onto the past. Find a new indulgence: a great fitting pair of jeans, a fabulous hangbag, decadent chocolate dipped strawberries. Anything that represents a new found joy!

  7. I’m sending Birthday wishes to you from The Sober Garden! We all hear you birthday girl. Emotions in sobriety can be overwhelming, can’t they?! At four months-ish sober I’m still alarmed by feeling ‘stuff’, ‘stuff’ that used to be drowned out by booze. Be kind to yourself – you deserve it and it’s your birthday. x

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