I won’t lie to you: I’m really struggling today. Day 13, unlucky for some? It’s 7pm here, and about half an hour ago, I drove to the supermarket to pick up a few groceries (at least, that’s what I told myself), and I put a big bottle of prosecco in my basket, AND a teeny tiny bottle of prosecco. I walked towards the checkout. Then I turned around before paying, and went back to the wine area, and put those prosecco bottles back on the shelf. I paid and left.
I was this close (very very small gap between my finger and thumb) to buying that drink and drinking it when I got home.
Now I’m writing this and reaching out to you all.
30 thoughts on “Struggling”
Good for you. Don’t do it. I try to think is the couple of hours feeling relaxed worth the other 20 something in the day I will feel miserable for what I’ve done. A friend of mine says every night (she’s been sober 7 years) please God, please make this desire go away. She says it really helps her. Even if God isn’t your thing make that saying your mantra. It certainly can’t hurt!
Hi Tracey. I like the idea of a mantra. Because so far I’ve just buried my face in my hands. Annie x
🙂 Good girl! Putting back those bottles shows how strong you are. How are you now?
I would like to add that if, by any change you have changed your mind again and went off to do what you were hoping not to, please, please, please, don’t berate yourself – that will not help. It will only make you feel worse and feeling bad isn’t going to help you.
Quitting is difficult, most people have several tries to find out what works best for them. And alcohol is very addictive and finding the right path (no pun intended 😉 ) can be trying to say the least. Specifically living in the UK (assuming from your name) where binging is part of the national herritage and my god it sometimes looks as if alcohol was in the mothermilk too.
I’m off now for a while but I hope you love yourself and are happy that you quit drinking. If not, there is another day tomorrow or maybe the day after that. Don’t push things, take your time. And again: try not to loose energy on repetitive negative thinking, if you brainwash, make sure it smells like roses and it brings you love.
You are right about my using up energy in a negative spiral, and I’m trying to remedy that. Managed to push through the bad zone and here I am safely on Day 14. Thanks for your support, Feeling. Annie x
Glad to hear / read that you are ok. 🙂 Was looking out for a post.
Good, good, good for you!!!!! In Washington DC right now sitting in a park across from the White House thinking about how I will turn down drinks at my daughters in a bit. Almost turned off my phone, low battery, and thought I’d take one last look at email. Saw a blog from you read it and now I am strong enough to resist! See what you can do for others Annie! Hopefully we in some small way do it for you too! We are strong together! 💗
Wow, I loved imagining you in that Washington DC park! And here I am all the way over the water in the UK. Hope you managed to turn down those drinks. I got through my shouty prosecco voices, thankfully. I read your comment while I was right in the middle of them, and the power of your encouragement nearly made me cry. Annie x
That means so much that the strength you gave me I could give back to you! I’m learning that this is how we all can get through this, good days and bad. 💗💗
Hi Annie, not unlucky, just Friday again, and that horrid feeling that everyone else in the world is having a party except you, but it’s not true, hon. Just for tonight, ask yourself: when you wake up tomorrow, will you say, what a bummer that I had a bath and an early night last night. I really wish I’d got trollied so now I felt sick and had a thumping headache and hated myself.
Will you think that? No. So maybe some evenings are a bit shitty for a while. But the mornings are good. Give yourself a lovely morning tomorrow morning, and just go to bed now if you need to.
Me, I switch my head off with a sudoku when my thoughts are getting too much, but whatever works for you! Just not the prosecco, eh? Not tonight?
Hope you’re OK. Hugs. xx
Thanks MTM. Your words always really help me. I read them last night, and here I am the next morning, just as you hoped, feeling pleased with myself, and 14 days into my mission! Annie x
2 weeks! Hip hip hurrah!! 🙂
I am in New Zealand (just like you I was inspired my Mrs D!) and started a blog just like you 28 Days ago. so I am 2 weeks ahead of you. I just looked back on how I was feeling around day 13 and it was shit. really really really hard. push through you good thing you, it gets easier, trust me. Day 28 and loving it!!!
if you want to follow me, my blog is http://www.thecword-compassion.com
I am going through a lot of timely and expensive therapy at the moment so I have shared a lot of websites and things on my blog to help not only with addiction, but looking at the SOURCE of the addiction and why we are doing it. my friends cant believe what a new person I am and how CALM I am!!!!! have a look and let me know
hugs and kisses
ps. I am so cross that super markets sell wine now. we do in NZ and it should be bloody banned!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve just read your blog from beginning to end and have left you a comment! Thanks for being here. Annie x
also hoping you are ok! and the old HALT acronym is so true – Hungry Angry Lonely and Tired if you don’t already know it. in the early days I did find once I had eaten my evening meal the pangs dropped away like teenagers when it is time to do the washing up 😉
hang in there! P xx
I had completely forgotten about HALT. I was all those things when I put that bottle in my basket. But you’re right: once I’d had supper (actually, I had a packet of crisps first), the cravings had passed. Phew. Annie x
So great that you put the bottles back! Stick with it because although the weekends are hard at first, they do get easier. That’s all I seem to say to you, I know, but it really is true!
I hope you’re having a lovely evening and enjoy waking up hangover-free tomorrow xx
Thank you. I have woken up hangover-free! Yes, these Friday nights are proving to be testing for me. Annie x
I hope you made it through, Annie. Friday night was hard for me too (on my Day 4.) Not much distance gained yet and still so close to ‘before days.’ But, for me, the thought of feeling relieved and happy and hangover-free in the morning was stronger tonight than the desire to fall backwards. Look at all the lovely, wise words in all the other comments you got. All rooting for you to hold tight, promising better days. They will come; they’re just ahead. X
Hi Bea. People’s comments last night were incredibly helpful, and I was touched by the support out there. Thank you. Annie x
That was a big action you took. To put the bottles back.
A nice bath is a good way to pass the time. Anything to get through the evening.
I watched a not very sensible film called Drinking Buddies. But it wasn’t in the least trigger-y; in fact, more off-putting! Annie x
Doing a little cheer for you over here. 🙂 I have done that many times, too.
Thanks for the cheer! Annie x
Good job; that’s a huge step! Putting those back on the shelf … just good job!
Thank you! I think that’s the first time ever that I’ve actually put bottles back. Annie x
Just a quick one – do you follow Fit Fat Food? Lovely post today called “8 months sober”, a glimpse ahead maybe, to how it might feel a little way down the line: http://fitfatfood.wordpress.com/2014/09/13/8-months-sober/
Yes, I read FFF’s blog but I hadn’t seen her latest post, so thanks for pointing me in that direction. Just what I needed! Annie x
Annie, I’m on day 12 today and barely escaped unscathed last night myself. We can do this; it’s just going to suck…for a while anyway. Glad to have found your blog.
Hi Ruby. Good to think of you around the same day as me. We can support each other. Annie x