Now, and then

Here I am on Day 16, so just over half way through my 30 day challenge. I want to go further than 30 days, much further, but I need to keep my eye on that goal for now. In the spirit of being more positive, I have tried not to look too far ahead, but today I had waves of thoughts about future holidays, and celebrations, and the old anxieties about not drinking came creeping back. So, to counter this, I decided that I’d imagine what I would normally be doing at 8pm on a Monday evening, normally in the sense of my old life, the one in which I was drinking. I would have probably already broken my promise to self about no alcohol Monday-Thursday, and would have made sure there was some wine left from the weekend. Earlier in the day, I would have panicked about there being only half a bottle left, and would have bought some more – for Friday, to look forward to. That bottle would have been opened, and I’d have persuaded my husband to share it with me. He would have gone to bed, and I’d have stayed up watching old reruns of Sex and the City until the small hours, having raided the cupboard for the remnants of the Tia Maria.

And this evening? The new life? We’ve had supper, together with the kids (I used to feed them early so that we could drink aperitifs while they ate) and we all drank water. Everyone chatted. They’ve gone up to get ready for bed while I write this, and in a minute I will go and settle them. Then we are planning to make some tea and watch a bit of a film.

Spot the difference?

On another note, I hope I am not boring you by writing so often. It was always part of my challenge to write a blog post every day for 30 days; if I get that far, I will probably not write so much, but I don’t want you to think I’ve disappeared.

15 thoughts on “Now, and then”

  1. Annie, my friend. please don’t leave me, keep writing heaps, I will miss it. you are doing amazingly well, I am so blimmen proud of you!!! if I am anything to go by, you are over the first hard bump, 30 days from here is not as bad. KEEP GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. OH, AND WHAT A GIFT FOR YOUR CHILDREN. mum and Dad at the dinner table, all eating and chatting together. that’s what our future generation needs!

  3. I really enjoy sitting down to a meal with the family and having a jug of water (or juice mixed with sparkling water) on the table that we can all share. Something I never appreciated before! xx

  4. Dear Path, it is nice to read your posts. 🙂 And no, I don’t think you need to apologise!
    But then again, having posted 5 today that were on addiction to blogging and me lacking blog etiquette … maybe I’m just trying to make you an accomplice…. 😉

      1. I thought your description of your family time was perfect. How much nicer to enjoy life, than to sit alone on the couch watching tv alone? I remember doing just that and with the Tia Maria often came self pity and wallowing. I don’t miss that.

  5. Annie, my sweet. The challenge was to blog daily for 30 days while staying sober. My hope is that after 30 days, you’ll continue your recovery journey and stay connected to all these amazing supporters even if you don’t blog everyday. You are doing really great work here!

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