I’d like to record some observations of how I’m feeling today. 17 days in – and that feels like a long time – am I feeling better? How do I feel?
* I feel good. Perhaps more accurately, I don’t feel bad. Before, when I was getting hangovers or just feeling generally tired, I would feel sluggish; I’d often be dealing with an awful headache, or I’d feel sick mid-morning (I was increasingly noticing that my hangover symptoms wouldn’t start until then; I’d wake up relatively perky, and feel smug, before BAM! 10am disaster!), and I’d get massive lows at various points of the day and struggle to do stuff. Those things have gone, and although I do still have those cravings and sugar lows around 5pm, I don’t get the same sort of slump.
* I know everyone always says this sort of thing on sober blogs, but my skin is looking better: clearer, rosier, though I went through a few days (around days 7-9) of medieval style pox spots along my jawline: unusual for me, and not nice.
* A distinctly uncharacteristic calm has occasionally been spotted coming from me, rather than the usual impatience. Not too much calm though, still lots of frustrations etc.
* I am not in such a panic about my sober plan. Yes, I still don’t know how things will progress, but I feel better about it now than I did at Day 5 when I wanted to abandon the whole thing. Now, it is actually beginning to feel like a possible way forward.
It’s as though I’m allowing myself to investigate a sober route without sabotaging it at every turn. I hope I’m not jinxing it by being positive today…