I wish I was feeling more consistently positive about what I’m doing. As I near my 30 days (today is Day 25), thoughts of giving up on giving up are swarming round me in an alarming fashion. I know that the sweet sweet friend who suggested my 30 days abstinence with blogging task hoped that I would continue long after that; but as I approach it, I am finding myself exploring the possibility of going back to the life I knew before. Obviously I hope that I can take with me all that I have learned over these past few weeks, and apply it to a new fresh version of myself, one who drinks very occasionally but basically avoids it most of the time. But part of me knows that in a matter of days, if not hours, I’d be back at the start, and if last time is anything to go by, I’d soon be drinking more than ever.
So, what to do?
I wanted to write a much more uplifting post than this, telling you all how fantastic I’m feeling, what a calm mother I’ve been, how not drinking is the way to go forwards. And yet, I’m still feeling this rebellious urge to stop having to try so hard, and to think about something else for a while.
Is there still time for me to turn the corner?