A few people have commented that they would like me to continue writing every day. I am touched that anyone wants to read my stuff! It got me thinking about why I was writing. Initially, I started the blog as a way of keeping on the sober straight and narrow for 30 days, and writing every day was part of the challenge set for me by a lovely friend. It was good having to write daily, as it forced me to think about what I was doing and encouraged me when I felt like giving up giving up. It also helped me to structure my no-drinking plan: every day, I read other sober blogs, try and comment, and then write my own post for the day, a nice routine which I began to look forward to.
I know people comment on blogs, but I hadn’t realised I would get so excited about these comments; I have been amazed by the sober support I have had here, and this wave of advice and love – yes, it feels like love! – has been a humbling experience. Some people have said that my posts are helping them; I hope that’s the case, and I also hope that I am not discouraging people in any way, as I feel responsible writing my feelings and knowing that they might affect others.
Oddly, I feel really calm today. Day 29, and a Sunday. Over the past month, those Friday evenings seem to have been the time in which I’ve been most anxious, and where the sober path has been rocky. As I get to Sunday, I have tended to feel better about what I’m doing. What is scary is the way in which my mindset can change, sometimes within minutes, from thinking I will carry on for another 30 days, to wanting to throw the whole thing in. I need to find a gentler way of thinking.
A Dappled Path 
A gentler way of thinking…. I like that. I think it means not being so hard on yourself. I have found that in the last 15 days I am soooooooooo much less anxious and “spinning” in my head. I used to try to work out too hard and too long to “erase” the toxins from my body. Now that I have stopped drinking, I pick one exercise (hot yoga, run bike swim) and only do THE ONE activity. I don’t know if that make sense. It was as if I had to do more to quiet the voice in my head saying: ” see? if you didn’t drink too much you would be thinner and faster and stronger…”
So now I have a name for how I am treating myself– “a gentler way of thinking”. Thanks! 😘
Its a little after 7 am here in New York. Enjoying your blog with a beautiful sunrise and coffee and CONFIDENCE and self forgiveness
Love the picture of your writing a comment at 7am in New York. How cool is that! I’ve never been there. Picking one exercise, and being gentle on yourself, sounds a good plan. Annie x
Oooo, a “gentler way of thinking” – what a perfect pause for thought. I reckon being hard on yourself is the human being’s default setting. We all do it, one way or another. I reckon too, that a gentler way of thinking will help you cope with the whole ‘do you carry on for another 30 days question’. Take one day a time. You’re sober right now, and you’re doing great on it, feeling calm and sharing it with us. Glad you’re here Annie, Happy Sunday and love from The Sober Garden x.
Thanks, SG. I’ve been wondering how you are, after your PAWS post. Yes, I thought my comments recently had sounded rather hectic – though that’s how I was feeling! Definitely calmer today, long may it last. Annie x
Good morning quietly thinking. I found your blog today and I am so glad I did. I am almost at the same place and have been looking for someone who is on the same path. Today I am at day 27! I am worried about day 31 as well. I feel ready to cave..at least to see what a glass of sine tastes like again. I really can’t imagine never enjoying it again. It was such a part of my life. Mainly I have stuck close to home, going out for dinner only occasionally, and meeting friends for lunch, not drinks. Weekends are tough since my husband still drinks and drinks more on Fridays and Saturdays. He says he is supportive, but I am not sure how. Anyway, I do not have a blog myself. Wondering if I should start one. I am on Belle’s 100day challenge, but that seems daunting. I feel I need more connection with others. I will check in with you often 🙂
Hello! And thank you for reading my blog. Glad your day count is so close to mine. I understand how hard it is. I have found writing a blog very helpful, so you should think about starting one! Belle’s 100 day challenge is great too (I’m doing it). But I’m here for you, and would love you to check in as often as you want. Annie x
Thanks for this reply. I am so proud you made your 30. I will be there on Wednesday. I waited for the end labor Day weekend to begin my month. I would like to try a glass of wine next week as well. I read all of your replies and looks like you got some good advice. The question is…can you, or I stop at just one. I really want to be that person. Is that who I really am??? It is good to have someone else besides Belle. It is pretty easy for me during the week, but weekends continue to be tough. I would wait for the weekend, if I were you, and see if you can stop at just one or two. Deep down inside I really don’t think there is anything bad about drinking, just whendrinking is too much. ok enough. from Tina jeanne
I just left a post, but thought I would send a personal note. Just starting day 31 and feeling pretty good..no pink clouds, yet, but ok. We are going on a trip to Florida to buy a vacation condo this weekend and I and superexcited about it. Already planning whether I should have a glass of wine or not to celebrate. I really hate the soda and other sweet options when we go out. I really miss the wine. Also just want to see how it goes. I really want to be that person who can just have a glass of wine at dinner, or at a party. So that is where I stand…on the fence. You can email me if you would like a sober pen pal. Belle is busy for the weekend, so I am just kind of out there. It looks like you have a lot of followers, though, so I don’t want you to feel I am pushing myself on you. I like my new sober life too, but I have definitely stayed under the radar. What are your thoughts???
Tina Jeanne
milteach5@yahoo.com
Annie
My mantra is kinder and gentler. With myself. And with others.
The more you do this the easier it is to notice those negative thoughts and let them go. To not get caught up in examining them.
It’s very freeing. And shocking, as I thought I would always be obsessive and down.
Write everything. The good and the bad. The truth is honesty helps us all. It helps us realize we are all the same. That our thoughts aren’t so different that there is no hope for us.
Your writing is helping me. Writing back to you is helping me. That is the secret to sobriety. In helping each other we help ourselves.
Have a great day 29.
Anne
Hi Anne. You continue to be a wise, amazing support to me. Thank you. I will try to continue writing, the good and the bad. Annie x
WoooooooHoooooo, you are getting there. Well done!! Compassion for yourself and others is SO HEALING. happy day 29 !
Lisa
Thanks, Lisa. Just heading into the evening of Day 29 which means it is nearly Day 30! Annie x
I have left home for the night, the stress is all too much for me. Boy i could have drunk tonight but went to the movies with a friend , had a coke , some popcorn and am staying at hers tonight. The pain of it all is excruciating but i am still sober!!!!!