A few people have commented that they would like me to continue writing every day. I am touched that anyone wants to read my stuff! It got me thinking about why I was writing. Initially, I started the blog as a way of keeping on the sober straight and narrow for 30 days, and writing every day was part of the challenge set for me by a lovely friend. It was good having to write daily, as it forced me to think about what I was doing and encouraged me when I felt like giving up giving up. It also helped me to structure my no-drinking plan: every day, I read other sober blogs, try and comment, and then write my own post for the day, a nice routine which I began to look forward to.
I know people comment on blogs, but I hadn’t realised I would get so excited about these comments; I have been amazed by the sober support I have had here, and this wave of advice and love – yes, it feels like love! – has been a humbling experience. Some people have said that my posts are helping them; I hope that’s the case, and I also hope that I am not discouraging people in any way, as I feel responsible writing my feelings and knowing that they might affect others.
Oddly, I feel really calm today. Day 29, and a Sunday. Over the past month, those Friday evenings seem to have been the time in which I’ve been most anxious, and where the sober path has been rocky. As I get to Sunday, I have tended to feel better about what I’m doing. What is scary is the way in which my mindset can change, sometimes within minutes, from thinking I will carry on for another 30 days, to wanting to throw the whole thing in. I need to find a gentler way of thinking.