I am here

I’m sorry if I’ve worried you. I’m still here! I didn’t write a post yesterday – I’m not necessarily going to write every day – but I won’t just disappear, and I will keep writing. Thank you for your concern. I also always worry when people who’ve been writing regularly suddenly don’t write.

Day 34 today. I’m still struggling with cravings and a ‘will I won’t I’drink thing, but I’m still ok. I’ve had a strange behind the eyes nagging headache for a few days, and I think that’ll help keep me from drinking at this drinks thing this evening. I’ve been going backwards and forwards in my mind, trying to decide what to do. I appreciate and listen to people’s comments about carrying on the sober momentum, as well as those comments which suggest trying to moderate. Certainly, the idea of going back to Day 1 is not appealing, but I just can’t quite decide how I want to go forward. Whatever I do, I won’t hide away from you all, and I will keep you posted.

Drinks party tonight, dinner party tomorrow… I know a few of you have suggested I don’t go, but unfortunately I am tied, for various reasons too boring to relate here. I will let you know how I get on.

9 thoughts on “I am here”

  1. Don’t give in….I had a few drinks last night like an idiot after 19 days and the self loathing I feel this morning is not pleasant. Here I go…another day 1

    1. Don’t beat yourself up. Take it as a lesson and get back at it. Think about what you need to do differently. Get rid of the booze from the house? Decline invitations for a while? Creating a safe sober bubble makes it all easier.

  2. Remember, you can have fun sober, you know – it is possible and it is allowed! To have 34 days under your belt is awesome. All the best to you for the weekend and love from The Sober Garden x.

  3. Hi My name is Lizzie. I’m on day 40 today. I haven’t commented on any blogs before, this is my first, but I’ve followed your blog every day, partly because you were in a similar time frame to me with your sober days, and then because I could relate to everything you said. I worried when you weren’t here yesterday too. I felt very much like you in the first 20 days or so, absolutely none of the feel good positive thoughts that I was expecting to have and so often wondering whether it was all worth it if I wasn’t any happier, but slowly things have started to change and I’m having moments, maybe even hours of feeling really happy and calm and bloody proud of myself. I too find it hard to think that this could be for ever but I know that I can’t make a decision until I’ve got a lot more sober days under my belt. I want to experience all of life sober for a while the good the bad and the ugly. I can relate to the thought of having to start at day one again, that would be tough. My advice for what it’s worth is keep going and see how you feel in another 30 days. I’ve been drinking for 20 years so I figure another 30 days is just a drop in the ocean. It’s my son’s 13th birthday tomorrow which is great in a way, but also quite stressful, lots of kids, visitors, socialising etc., Last year I drank lots, but this year I’m flying sober. Good luck with your weekend. xx

  4. I’m do glad you are here today.

    Be careful about listening to those who are encouraging you to moderate. Many of them are still mired in their own struggles. Perhaps they are telling you what they wish was true, not what is. That can be dangerous advice.

    I’ve yet to find a blogger who returns to moderation after realizing they have a problem and being sober for a while. Perhaps they exist and are in hiding.

    Listen to your heart. It always wants what’s best for you.


  5. Great to see your message, was worried. Thanks for letting us all know. Remember we’re all here at the other end of your weekend no matter what! Thoughts and prayers are with you. ๐Ÿ’—

  6. Thanks for letting us know you’re okay, Annie. I had to socialise too during my stab at Belle’s 100 Day Challenge and my partner drinks, and there’s no need for him to stop – it’s my problem, not his. Aside from getting very bored at the end of the evening when everyone else is endlessly repeating themselves, I feel really comfortable now not drinking while they all are. You’ll work out what’s right for you. Have a thought hug, anyway.

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