Thank you to everyone for your wise words yesterday. I can’t tell you how much they mean to me. I pore over them, and really think about them.
Today is my Day 40. I know for some people this is a drop in the AF ocean, but it still feels like a major milestone for me.
A couple of bloggers reached out and emailed me – thank you, my friends. One of them was advising me to stick with it, as I already had quite a few sober days behind me and that that was something to hold on to. Drinking again just wouldn’t be worth it. With this in mind, I thought it would be salutary to jot down some of the less good things I did when I was drinking: not major confession time, more a reminder of what I might be going back to if I were to go back:
* hiding half bottles of wine behind the large rice sack in the larder
* drinking several glasses of wine (or other alcoholic drink) while cooking but hiding the glass so the children wouldn’t see it
* lying to the children when they asked me what was in my glass (if they did spot it)
* being unable or unwilling to read them a story without a glass of wine in hand
* buying and consuming teeny tiny bottles of wine before opening large bottles with my husband
* shouting at a friend at a party when I’d been drinking for about 8 hours straight
* stealing my husband’s lethal miniature bottles of schnapps when on holiday and drinking them secretly (I’ve told him about this!)
* making sure there was no alcohol in the house on a previous sober attempt, then panicking and raiding the larder for liqueur chocolates. Desperate!
I could go on, but now I feel depressed and wish I hadn’t written the list 😦
I’ll publish this post before I think better of it and delete it.