Problem Friday again

Here’s what happened: earlier this afternoon, I started to anticipate a relapse. I wrote one or two comments on a couple of blogs which I think may have sounded glum, and as though I was about to fail. I then started to plan my relapse. My husband has got a bad cold, and when I picked him up from the station, I told him there and then that I was going to break my sobriety, stop writing the blog, and drink drink drink. I was fed up, I didn’t want to do this anymore, I wanted to be free, to do my own thing, not to be responsible. He suggested I wait for him, as he wouldn’t be drinking tonight because of his cold. My idea was that he go to bed, I could then have supper with the children and have my longed-for gin and tonic, and then some wine and watch television by myself and revel in my old life. ‘Just as long as you don’t sit downstairs and have 3 glasses of wine on your own,’ my husband said.

And that was it. Plan scuppered. Of course I can’t do all the above. I would have those drinks and IMMEDIATELY my 41 days would be forgotten and I’d be back where I started, responding to the urge to drink and drinking too much on my first night back in the dark.

So, what am I going to do instead? Well, I’m going to prepare the supper, eat the supper with the childen, take my husband his supper in bed (nice wife!), put the kids to bed, then make a large pot of herbal tea, find an old film and watch it, while not bemoaning my shattered sobriety. In order to achieve this, I have literally had to force myself to sit down and write all this, to type the temptation out of myself.

24 thoughts on “Problem Friday again”

  1. Go Annie !!!! I am having the same Friday night as you. Yes, it’s different to how it used to be on a Friday night but Saturday morning makes it all worthwhile and the total lack of remorse gives a massive MASSIVE boost to our self esteem. Mrs D has written a great blog this evening about not drowning all our emotions in wine. X

    1. Yes, I read Mrs D’s latest post, and also a very good one back in her first year (in month 9) when she talks about whining, and the difficulties of pushing through emotions/boredom when you’re desperate to take the edge off with alcohol. Annie x

  2. sobriety as colour-by-numbers is FINE. if you are sober – then that is ALL you need to be. and every time you do it makes it easier the next time. honest. keep plugging away. you are doing so well!

  3. Great decision Annie!! Joining you in making my Friday night, and therefore Saturday morning, an enjoyable one. Celebrating day 35 and it feels great! You have been strength for me all the way. Thanks! 💗

  4. GOOD MORNING ANNIE, it is the ‘future’ here! lol I have just woken up hangover free and this will be you in a few hours. well done again!!!!
    Lisa

    1. Hello Future Girl. Saturday morning here now and am thankfully hangover free. Hope you’re alright as you near the end of your day. Annie x

  5. Happening Friday night here in New York. It’s 7 pm. Pajamas are on. And seltzer is open….. We will feel like champions in the morning!

    1. Yes, I’m really having to rethink my Friday nights. They’ve been my toughest challenges so far. What sober day are you on now? Annie x

      1. I decided to stop 9/14. Kept at it and slipped 10/5😕. Hit a meeting the next day. Still not drinking. So I don’t know how to figure that out…. Just want the days to keep adding up!!

  6. Yay Annie! Excellent thought processes! Thinking ahead and picturing the future is what has helped me too! Good for you! Not drinking with you tonight, in fact in bed and exhausted at 7pm! Xoxo

  7. Great job Annie! Saturday morning here almost 8 am and I feel so good after 8 hours of sleep and no wine last night. It was great reading your most recent post and how you got through!

    1. Thanks, Via. Your support means so much to me. I’m still struggling, and still not sure how things are going to go, but I’m trying. Annie x

  8. Well done, Annie. For a few days after Day 31 I thought you might lapse, but you’ve fought your way through and it’s great to read about it.

  9. well done Annie – I am sure you feel really great about yourself. I also had my biggest craving so far on Friday night (what is it??) managed to resist and felt great on Saturday. if we can just try to think ourselves into the morning feeling it helps tremendously.

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