Monday morning, and I’m afraid I have a confession to make. Yesterday I had a drink. It wasn’t really a slip up; I could feel myself wanting to have a drink a few days before, so I sat with the thought, and tried to work through it. But inside, I knew that I didn’t want to continue with my teetotal path.
I was hesitant about writing a post, because I do not want people to think that it’s ok to drink if you’re on a sober path. One day at a time not drinking is so good, and I admire and support everyone who is doing that. You should definitely keep going! Don’t listen to me! But I didn’t want to leave my blog behind – I thought some of you might wonder where I’d gone.
So how did it happen? I was rehearsing all day yesterday, and when I got home my husband suggested we had a drink together, an alcoholic drink. It’s not his fault; I gave him the impression that I wanted to do that, and he went along with it. For a week or so, I’d been talking to him about what I wanted to do, and he knew that I was doubtful about my sobriety. So please don’t blame him! It’s my fault.
I just had one, then we had AF drinks after that, and so I didn’t really feel any different. But part of me felt sad, and as though I had broken something. I didn’t sleep well as I was lying awake thinking about it.
I hope I am not discouraging anyone – I really think about that, and want to send lots of love and positive thoughts to you all, wherever you are. I am ok, and I will keep writing as much as I can. But I don’t want to bring anyone down with me.