Two posts in one day, but having sounded relatively positive this morning – or if not exactly positive, then like someone with a plan at least – I wanted to tell you that I have already succumbed to the first glass of fizz. What is wrong with me???? I had had a good day, planning my sober 100 days, and how I was going to power through past days 42 and 61 (the days on which I failed the last 2 times), and be fresh-faced and happy with myself. And what happens? First sign of the witching hour, and I’m reaching for the glasses, opening the bottle (already open from last night… probably not a great idea to have that lying around) and persuading my husband that we need prosecco and then wine tonight because Sundays aren’t fun without drinking.
I hadn’t mentioned to him that I wanted to try a sober 100 days again, probably because I didn’t want to bind myself to it, and I feared that he’d support me and pour the prosecco away (or drink it himself) if he knew.
In other words, I scuppered my plans before I even had a chance to embark on them.
Is it just not my time? When will I be ready? Will I ever be ready? Am I not cut out for this? I read all those blogs with amazing, inspiring people managing 100 days, a year, more, and I just don’t know how they do it.