Mrs D’s new book arrived on Friday, and I started reading it over the weekend. It is brilliant. I find it encouraging reading the early part of her story – she is such a Sober Legend, that I sometimes forget she must have had a Day 1 somewhere. I am constantly amazed by the longevity of some of the sober bloggers’ sobriety. I’m back on Day 1 today.
I was also listening to the most recent episode of The Bubble Hour this morning, about the Holiday season. I’m only part way through the episode, but one of the contributors described her time before she became sober as having ‘one foot in’ and ‘one foot out’. That is how I have been feeling for some time now; I want to be sober, and then I want to drink, and I haven’t yet managed to make the choice and stick to it.
But I am going to keep trying, to keep chipping away. It may seem as though I am dithering, but I am moving forward slowly.
8 thoughts on “Put your left foot in”
As long as you are moving forward….
Sounding very positive! Nice! Chipping away with you too babe- on day 3 again.
Yep, slowly but surely moving forward. I think you are too! xo
Just keep trying. And use your blog to help yourself see your progress.
well done, keep going! remember Day 3 is a real sucky bump! just try and get over that maybe first…..Mrs D is a real famous NZer now eh it seems. Isn’t she fab. Thinking of you and wishing you great vibes from NZ
Yes I think you are moving forward Annie. Just keep happy and don’t be hard on yourself. Chipping away at the issue sounds a good plan to me. Totally agree about Mrs D – she is such an inspiration. X
This may not make sense, depending on how badly you want a drink. But the drink will ALWAYS be there. Unless every supermarket and liquor store closes forever at the stroke of midnight tonight, alcohol will ALWAYS be there when you want it. Just like chocolate cake or nail polish. So you don’t need to go get one right now, or even anytime soon. NOW exists in a primitive part of your brain that worries about scarcity; LATER exists in a higher part of your brain that understands economics.
We’ve ALL had the one foot in one foot out section of our journey. Believe it or not, I think it’s the hardest part. No matter what you do you’re not happy. Drink and you feel shame and embarrassed and a failure. Stay sober and you’re pissed off because you want to drink. Definitely a lose-lose situation.
What I know is that no matter what, I’d rather die then go back there. It’s just too much. There’s no way to sugercoat it, that first year was a bitch but it was still better than the limbo in which you find yourself now. My heart aches with the knowledge of what you’re feeling right now and I wish so much that I could make it better.
But as we know – that part is all you. For now I’ll just promise to be here cheering you on no matter where you are in this.