A few weeks ago I had to go to the doctor as I had this raw pain in my stomach. I was given some medicine and told to watch and wait. Guess what? Drinking wine on a daily basis does not help improve raw pain in stomach symptoms. When the doctor originally asked me if I lived a healthy lifestyle, I said yes without hesitation.
I lied. You know those Am I An Alcoholic questionnaires that we all do? There’s often a question in there which goes along the lines of: do you keep drinking despite negative consequences to your health? I always rather scoffed at that question, because I usually seem so healthy, even when I’m drinking. But I think this scoffing may have caught up with me, and that my stomach thing may well be caused or exacerbated by my drinking. Now, that is scary.
So, I’ve just been chatting to my husband about this. He was unaware that my stomach complaint was still rumbling away. Now I’ve told him. ‘You have to give up drinking – at least for a month – to see if your symptoms improve. ‘
I know: why didn’t I think of this before? Well, of course I did think of this, but I just didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to stop drinking. I don’t want to stop drinking. But it looks as though I am going to have to.
No more dithering. No more procrastinating. I need to grip reality here and do something about it. Day 1 starts today, despite our New Year’s Eve party tomorrow night, despite friends coming to stay the following weekend. I know the drill – I’ve stocked up with tasty AF alternatives, and now I need to form a good plan of selfcare. I have been looking worn out for weeks, drinking every single night. I need to reach back and find the things that worked before – and there were things that worked – and think of new things, as I keep on stumbling forward.