Tonight we have a few friends here for New Year’s Eve. I feel calm and ready, but it is only 12.20pm and the fridge is stuffed full of alcohol. But I have also stocked up on AF alternatives, particularly as there will be children here (as well as my own children).
I know I need to do this. The last few weeks have been fuzzy round the edges. Lots of fun here and there, and good cheer generally, but I felt weary in the middle of it all, and knew that my drinking was sneaking back into my daily life. That’s the problem. My husband claims that our no drinking Mon-Thurs was working, but I knew that the Friday/Sat/Sunday drinking was out of control. By December the 1st I slid into full party mode and am only now emerging.
Went to a drinks party and was drunk in 45 minutes, saying mean things about a friend of mine; stopped going up to say goodnight to the children, preferring to stay downstairs to get a few extra glasses of wine in me; stayed up until the small hours watching terrible television and raiding the drinks cupboard for old Baileys. Old Baileys ! So classy! Old, old habits, all flooding back within a few weeks.
While walking the dog a few days ago, I found myself making New Year plans: don’t drink in the week, eat healthily, only drink 2 glasses a night… Well, forget these plans, I won’t be able to sustain them. The best plan – and I know it’s tough – is to STOP DRINKING.
Day 2 underway.