Day 5 and heading into Saturday evening. I had been feeling quite smug, enjoying these few sober days and thinking how easy it all was. Having tried this before, I should know that around Day 5 I often hit a major low point. Well, I’m hitting it. I’ve started to feel cross and grumpy, and am snapping at my poor family. I know I just need to push through these next few days, but the old feelings are starting to creep back in. Wow, talk about a broken record.
When I gave up for a few weeks in the Autumn, one of my local friends asked me why I was doing it. ‘No one will give you a medal,’ she said. I don’t think she meant it meanly; but I have often dwelt on it since. It’s not that I want a medal – of course I don’t – but I wonder why her comment keeps coming back to me?
Thank you for all your helpful comments yesterday, and for ideas of how to get through Friday. Always on the look out for tips, I’d be grateful for some Saturday night ones. I’ve done this before, but it all still feels brand new, and I’m still a novice. A grumpy novice.
A Dappled Path 
Struggling too and looking for tips. Doing dry January and out tonight with friends, already facing a barrage of: just have a couple (I can’t), why are you putting yourself through it? (good question) and yep: you won’t get a medal. So, no helpful advice from me, I feel like a grumpy novice too.
My mantra for today is something I’ve picked up from the advice on your blog: people don’t regret not drinking, but do regret drinking…. Or something along those lines, you get my drift.
Keep posting, keep going, we can do this. Remember how good you felt new years day. Wish we could bottle that feeling.
Yes, I think that comment about never regretting not drinking is something I go back to again and again. Hope your night out with friends goes ok. I would have thought people would be quite understanding about Dry January? I’ll be thinking of you; I’m glad you’re doing this with me. Annie x
Congrats on day 5 Path! Cool!
I’d say: since your mood is a reaccurring thing, why not dive into it and see what it brings? If you have no entry into the matter maybe try having a conversation with yourself as if you were somebody else?
Concerning the not getting a medal: why not work out why it stings? Where that thinking will lead you? What it brings to hang on to it? It obviously bugs you hence it is important. I am guessing that diving into it is more important than ‘making it go away’. Alcohol is used to make things go away without doing the work it takes. If you start to do the opposite now, it gets easier quicker.
I notice(d) that I had an easier time when I worked through issues like these. When I finally had insight into what was happening I would feel happy about it, and proud. Those are feelings that help me through the days when they are difficult.
Good luck!
Feeling! Thank you for your thoughts. Every night this week, I have lain in bed thinking about all the awful times when I’ve been drinking. I am going to try what you suggest, and look more deeply into why that medal comment bothers me. Indeed, this time around, I would like to look more carefully behind the reasons why I drink (or should I say, drank?). Annie x
I’m a grumpy novice too, and having had half of Mr. SR’s bottle of cab and then some last night, I am a grumpy novice on Day 1 again :(. All I can say is don’t throw away your five days. Like MC said, we never regret not drinking but we always regret drinking. Argh. I guess one good thing is that you only have a few hours left of Saturday, and if you go to bed sober, you’ll wake up on Day 6 feeling terrific. Keep reminding yourself of that?
Hugs,
SR
Don’t beat yourself up. I have had more Day 1s than you can imagine. I will try hard to keep hold of my Day 5 as I have found in the past that the momentum really helps. Thanks for supporting me, and I hope you’re ok. Annie x
Thank you Annie!! Your words made me feel better. Hoping your grumpy day is ending well.
Hugs,
SR
My husband refused to go get his 1 year coin.
He said he feel a bit like he is being rewarded for failing.
Shame is something he is working on.
In the end, it is an achievment to overcome an addiction. To make your life better.
They do give out medals! You just need to go to the right place.
I am investigating going to that place. It’s a big leap for me, though. Thanks as always, Anne. Annie x
It is a big leap for everyone.
But if the alternatives arent working, maybe it is time.
I like the expression ‘the only way out is through’ when thinking about dealing with the bad times that comes with making changes. You have to get through it for it to be better, but it will get better! Your friend telling you that you won’t get a medal for quitting….that is true, but only sort of. You get figurative medals from yourself and from those who understand, such as this sober blogging community. There are so many rewards! 🙂
And I am so so grateful to the blogging community! At the moment, everyone here is a lifeline for me. Annie x
I think that once we start to feel a bit better it is so easy to forget why we are doing this and how appalling we felt. It helps me to keep looking at and adding to my list of all I have to gain. I may also write a list of all the horrible hangovers and health worries I have over drinking. We’re all going to die of something one day, but I know for sure that I don’t want to be facing an earlier than average death one day, knowing that I inflicted it on myself. It’s bad enough facing something like that if it was not your own doing, but I would hate my family to have to go through that knowing that I could have prevented it. I know this sounds a bit dramatic but if we are regularly drinking more than six units in one session we will inevitably damage our health eventually. These thoughts make me determined when I weaken which I know I soon will. My family and friends also tried to get me to lighten up and drink on New Year’s Eve but I thought that it is time to be selfish. I’m not prepared to wreck my health and continue feeling like shit, in order to provide entertainment for everyone! But it is hard and I do feel for you. I know my grumpy weak days are only round the corner. Good luck and it’s clear that a lot if people on here are rooting for you..
Thank you for these wise words. I really do think back and try to examine the harm I was probably doing my body when drinking. The problems start to arise when I conveniently ‘forget’ these potential health issues. But I’m working on it. Annie x
I find that if I have doubts about the impact of alcohol on my insides i just have to look at the difference in the way my outsides look! Even on day 6 i was peeing for Britain during the night. God knows how much fluid was being retained. I’d really love to join my hubby for a beer at this very minute but despite not being overly concerned with my appearance i know my eyes are ckear and bright and my skin looks healthier, ehuch pleased me because i like to think it’s a reflection of myvimproving health generally. It’s still hard but I will nor join him in that beer today…
Best wishes Annie. Your blog has helped so many people to motivate themselves, because you are so honest and so ‘human’ about this
I too hard a bit of a hard time just after Christmas. I reached out to Belle, tiredofdrinking@gmail.com, and she responded saying to email her every half hour until I got though it. I did and the support was what I needed, I made it! Try it, she’s great!
Mary. 💗💗
Mary! My friend! I seem to constantly be on lovely Belle’s 100 day challenge. She is so patient with me – especially when I have to restart so often – and is a huge help and support. I’m glad she is helping you too. She’s amazing. Annie x
i’ll give you a medal! hang in there my friend. you can do this. family is supposed to be the recipient of your grumpy feeling. go with it 🙂 and Annie- i am on Belle’s 100 day challenge right now and this is my 2nd go around. Belle is indeed amazing!
Thank you so much for your support. Yes, Belle is brilliant! Annie x
Annie, your medal will have your own words on it. You can write how grwat you feel and how proud you are of yourself and wgatever else you want. You are doing this for you!
Way to go you can do it!!
Hugs from nz ( not thr at moment tho)
Lisa
http://www.thecword-compassion.com
Lisa, your support means so much to me. Thank you. Annie x
Annie,
You get a medal every day when you wake up sober. I am also a part of Belle’s challenge, 3rd time. I have a list of the reasons why I decided to quit. It’s always with me and I look at it constantly. Hang in there ❤️T
I have a list by my bed; it’s a list of suggestions from Belle of how I can make sobriety work better. She sent it to me last time I tried, so I need to have a careful look at it again. Thanks for being here. Annie x
Here we go again Annie. I jumped on the wagon last week as well. I am on day 4 today. I also went back on Belle’s 100 day challenge. Wow she is going to be busy this month!! haha. I feel so much better already. This last weeks of December were awful. I just couldn’t seem to stop drinking. I endured way too many awful hangovers. I was suffering from stomach aches and fatigue, even though I was “sleeping” all night. I would still wake up often with hot flashes and nausea. All gone now. Still hate the cravings that plague me every day, but I will prevail! I am routing for you. Feeling so much better and rested. Yeah, I never wish I drank the night before when I wake up in the morning.
Tina Jeanne
We really have been on this journey together, haven’t we! Hope you’re on Day 5 now? Annie x
yup, day 5
If you decide to try AA, they give you a “medal” at your very first meeting.
I was scared shitless the first time I walked into the room, but it is one of the best things I have ever done. I love the blogging world, but real people rock to.
I white knuckled it for 73 days before going.
No matter what you do, if you give it time, it gets easier. I never thought that was true, but then suddenly it was. It is a process.
Stay strong, you can do this.
Thank you so much for your words. I am trying to stay strong. Annie x
just a day ahead of you here….also a Belle customer. Let’s get through this evening. I just got home from work, showered, put pjs on and am in bed. Whatever it takes. Think of how great tomorrow will feel!
Glad we’re moving through this together. Annie x
Ok so here’s my tuppenceworth.
I got exactly the same comment from one of my closest chums and it stung like a slap in the face.
You know what. Its more about them than it is about you. That’s what i think.
I’m a Belle customer too 🙂
Lucy on a Hangover free lilfe also said to me, that life is over. don’t dwell on it. I can’t even begin to tell anyone nor think about the things I’ve done when I’ve been drinking. The shame is crippling for me. So I’ve drawn a blind down on it. locked the door, put the key in a box and told myself for now I’m never going there again.
Most of it no one knew, like my drinking but I did.
belle’s best advice to me has been add more sober shit. Shovel it on. Don’t look back cos you cant change it. Look forward. You’re amazing and you’re doing it.
Add buckets of anything sober you can do to get through each day until it gets easier.
Remember its hard, remember its worth it my friend.
🙂
And you know we’re all here and only a wee moment away.
PS I’m still angry I can’t drink, I told myself that’s just how it is for now.
‘Add buckets of anything sober’ – now that’s what I really need to do. Thank you for everything. Annie x
Morning Annie, how are you feeling this morning? X
Hello! I am here, and I am ok. How are you? How was your night out? Annie x
Night out ok, I didn’t drink, but feel decidedly low this morning. Thought I would feel happier and a bit more euphoric, but I don’t. Sorry not to be more cheerful x