Flashing lights

One of the more unsettling things about stopping drinking – and I’ve experienced this each time – is that in the middle of the night (Day 5-6) I see blue flashing lights. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this before. Last night, I sat bolt upright in bed at about midnight and was convinced I could see these flashing lights, as though a police car or ambulance was outside the house. Not wanting to disturb my husband, I went into the spare room and slept there but I didn’t sleep well and woke this morning feeling really tired and frazzled. Has this happened to anyone else out there? I am about to make the lunch, so I haven’t got time to go back into my past blog posts, but I fear I’ve written this exact same post somewhere, Groundhog Day style. Just shows how I go round in circles…

My grumpiness has lessened, and today I feel a bit better. And so I have managed New Year’s Eve, and a Friday and Saturday evening. I know the challenges lie ahead, and as I start to feel better physically, I will start to talk myself out of sobriety – I need to be ready for that this time. In the meantime, I have an evening mocktail ritual. This may be too much of a trigger for some people, but I take comfort in the preparation and drinking of these. Last night, I made a fresh orange juice/vanilla syrup/lemon-lime thing with mint leaves. Shook it up in a cocktail shaker (I know, dangerous ground) and poured it into cocktail glasses (I know…) but I didn’t drink alcohol and that’s all I can really focus on at the moment.

We have friends coming to stay next weekend. This will be a huge challenge on the drink front. But before that, I need to get past Sunday night, traditionally a time when I drink the wine dregs and make new resolutions for the week. I need to stay strong, and committed (not a reference to insanity…yet…).

12 thoughts on “Flashing lights”

  1. Have not experienced the flashing lights, a few weird dreams though. At least these things are not alcohol induced. As far as the mock-tails, I say go for it! Over Christmas and New Years I poured blackberry fizzy water into a wine glass and enjoyed it, not a problem with wishing it was wine. We do whatever we need to do! Stay with it! Mary 💗💗

  2. First, congratulations on Day 6! Well done!! I did have a few oddities like that in the first few days. I chalked it up to my brain rehydrating. I had been drinking so much for so long my poor brain was severely dehydrated. Typically I’m panicky, but I decided to give my body & physical brain time to catch up with my decision to be sober. See your doc if it continues but for now maybe it’s just the sober lights coming back on!

  3. I’ve not had the flashing lights when sober, but it’s made me think how I felt when I’ve woke up in a cold sweat after having a drink. The guilt, the shame, the oh my god what did I do thoughts…….that’s something I won’t miss.

    I’m with you on the mock tail front, if it works for you then keep on with it!

    Here’s to day 7 xx

  4. I don’t remeber you mentioning that before. Maybe it’s your brain waking back up after being dulled? I have been having night sweats which are driving me crazy

    Just don’t drink today. Then you won’t have to make resolutions for the week. The mock tails sound wonderful. Trying to concoct a few here to get through dinner prep. Cheers

  5. Hi Annie,
    I had some horrible symptoms when I did my forty day stretch a few months ago. The runs, nausea etc. and also felt like I was having such vivid dreams it was like hallucinating. Still had hem this time but not as bad thankfully. See how it goes. It’s amazing how the body reacts to what we do to it. Last time I had such a raging thirst that went on for so long that it scared be but it settled down and again hasn’t been quite as bad this time. This is one of the reasons why I want it to work this time. I can’t stand going through all this again. Hope you’re feeling better x

  6. Hi Annie – you are at a week!! Yay and good for you!! I agree with everyone about the withdrawal symptoms, I think there’s quite a bit of info re PAWS (post-acute withdrawal symptoms) and I would not be surprised if what you are experiencing falls in that category. Sunday dinners are usually a challenge for me too, although today I am getting a reprieve for which I am grateful. I hope you get through yours, I know you can. We can do this! Check back in and let me know how it went today :).



  7. Everyone experiences different withdrawals but if it continues, definitely see your doctor. Sober sleep is too good to let it get interrupted…plus, you need all the rest you can get!

    As far as your mocktails? I say you do whatever gets you through the night. This is YOUR journey.

    Congrats on making it to your first week!


  8. Have not had any blue flashing lights. Must be some kind of weird withdrawl thingy. Your cocktail sound good. I need to find one that is not so sweet!. I have girlfriends coming down to visit me tomorrow for the week. They were my wino friends. Still are my friends, but no wine for me this week.
    Tina Jeanne

  9. Hi Path,

    I would not know about the flashing light but assume it is a sign of detox. With what I know now I would not go to a GP on matters of alcohol addiction but I would call an addiction expert. But don’t let that extra barrier stop you from doing stuff about it.

    I am guessing by now that the thing about sobriety is that you need to, CONTINOUSLY, do what is good for you to keep you sober. If that means mocktails – that is good. If the mocktailshaker however makes YOU feel that it is dangerous then find something else. Or ask your hubby to mix it. I am guessing sobriety is about finding other solutions than the standard one: ‘If it is alive and it feels nasty, or happy, or bored, or disappointed, or depressed, or painful. Well, let’s say, if it feels like anything for that matter: KILL IT WITH BOOZE!’

    Congrats on day 6!

  10. Congrats on your sobriety so far! As for your friends coming for the weekend..don’t borrow trouble from the future as they say. All you need to do today is take good care of yourself and stay sober…tomorrow is another day..don’t go there yet!

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