I want to thank everyone for their comments yesterday. I got in the bath and stayed there until my son came to check that I hadn’t drowned. I found the evening particularly tricky, and your ideas and motivating words really helped get me through. I love the blog in this way, when I reach out and find voices.
As I go slowly into my second sober week, I have been trying to work out what I need to do and what I am already doing differently this time, to give myself the best chance of success. To go through the motions just isn’t going to cut it, and I am aware that I am used to these early days from my other sober attempts and don’t want to be complacent about future pitfalls. I like lists on other sober blogs, so here is a list:
1. I am going to try and write every day, even if things go wrong. In the past, I have gone silent and retreated into my own excuses.
2. I am using more sober support. This time, I am texting a sober friend – never done that before – and emailing others. As well as the comments on my blog, I find the ‘behind the scenes’ support incredibly helpful.
3. I have put in place a couple of sober routines: one is my mocktail every evening, the other is a bath. Whatever happens in my day, I’m going to try and make my mocktail and get in that bath.
4. I am exploring the possibility of going to a meeting. Big block here, but I’m working on the idea.
5. I am trying to be more willing, to stop denying that I have a problem and that I could moderate in due course, and to accept that I need to give up completely. In the past, I always gave myself get-out plans. No more get-out plans.
It helps me to make the list. Sticking to it is the tough part.
12 thoughts on “Trying to do it differently”
Hi Annie – glad you got the bath AND that you didn’t drown (literally in the tub or figuratively in a wineglass!). I love your list, and I agree very much re the support. One of the other bloggers offered to be a sober penpal for me and we’ve been emailing the last few days, which has been great. Let me know if you would like to email with me – I’m in the US so I think we have about a 6 hour time difference, but that’s manageable :). I have some background in the meetings – that’s where I first got sober – and I’d be happy to share my experience with you for what it’s worth.
Have a great day!!
I think 4 and 5 are the keys
Even if you decide meetibgs are not for you, beibg oprnminded and willing to try is a huge step.
I think it’s worth an hour.
I am going to use your list! #5 is HUGE for me! Yes, please keep blogging– the success (which I wish you loads of) and the fails (or “lessons to be learned”).
Hi. I am 282 days sober. My first days were hardest of course but it will get easier but not until about 90. Some things I did.
1. Went to bed about 7. TV was a trigger for me. I would drink wine with TV. Soon a whole bottle was gone and I was on to another.
You need lots of rest now. It’s your healing phase.
2. Read lots of good sobriety books. There are many great books out there. I bought all on kindle which is cheaper and instant. Remember how much money you spent on booze. Buy whatever books interest you.
3. I read lots of blogs. I joined belles tired of thinking about drinking 100 day challenge. She was really helpful.
More later. 3 is good and remember 1 day at a time. I marked each day on a calendar.
Annie, This is a great plan! You sound really resolved! Also, re-reading your own blog at times, your own words, will be helpful to you if you start to lose your motivation!
Great to see you doing so well Annie 🙂 I’m having a bath every evening too to relax and take time out from the 5pm danger zone 😉 x
Brilliant list & there for you to refer back to when you need it xx
I love lists!!!! You should post it somewhere (like reminders in your phone) to help you keep it top of mind. Plus, having your mocktail and bath gives you something to look forward to at the end of the day (which is what drinking was all about right?). Maybe get yourself some fancy bath salts or candles or a fluffy new robe to help make it even more enticing.
I know I always tell people it’s only one day at a time and that works for lots and lots and lots of people; but I’ve never been any good staying in the moment so I’m always looking ahead. In the early days I thought – maybe on vacation or maybe on my birthday – but it wasn’t long before I realized that it would only work if I thought “forever”.
It was hard but once I was able to get over that hurdle and accept it, things became much easier.
Whatever works works. Just make it happen. You’re doing great!
I like lists too, lists are good :0) Make sure you have your rewards/treats in what ever non alcoholic form you choose as well, treats are also good! I’m on day 6 of dry January, just deciding on my first weeks treat! X
I love lists, I’m starting over (again .. on day 3), trying new things & desperately trying to make this my final Day1. A few things to share that I recently found:
2. http://hazeldensocial.org – posts, newsletters, virtual meetings & live chat rooms
There are meetings that aren’t AA. I have the same “meeting block” – I do not like the overtly Christian religious aspect of AA – but am considering going to a Refuge Recovery meeting. Have you checked out non-AA meetings?
You also might try other online support…intherooms.com if going to a meeting doesn’t work out for you. For me I just got sick and tired of drinking and what it was doing to my body..wine wore me down and I decided that I was more important than chardonnay. The first couple of weeks were no picnic but I listened to the PAWS episode on the Bubble Hour…if you haven’t listened to those gals please do as it will really help you!