In my past sober attempts, I concentrated on not drinking. That was hard enough; but it wasn’t enough. This time, I am trying to look more carefully at my motivations for drinking, to examine why not drinking can make me feel so blue. So when a craving strikes, as it does every day from about 4.30pm, rather than chop supper ingredients recklessly and curse, I take a moment to think about what exactly it is that I am craving. Is it the wine, or is it the glass? One of my blogging friends described herself as always needing some sort of drink in her hand, and I really get that. This is why I have found my mocktail ritual so effective in the past few days: replacing the alcohol with an innocent fizz is obviously crucial, but it’s the GLASS that matters.
I can feel the novelty of my sober planning wearing off. Rather than settling nicely into my sober rituals and getting used to a new normal, I am starting to feel tired of it. Yesterday evening I did not have a bath (gasp!), nor did I make my beloved mocktail (double gasp!). Instead, I grabbed an AF beer (the last one in the world as Dry January has emptied the supermarket shelves of these little babies), glugged it as though it were real beer, and felt fed up. Note to self: do not abandon the bath/mocktail moment. This is important.