Sunday, Day 13 and our visitors have gone. I managed a sober weekend. During dinner last night, I had an intense craving for a sip of the red wine they were all drinking, just one sip. But I forced myself to drink the AF wine I was having instead, and felt gloomy when they were discussing Masters of Wine and the intricacies of being a wine expert.
After my anxieties on Friday evening, I felt that I was quite even-tempered while the guests were here, and I was able to enjoy their company and really listen to and appreciate them.
However… I want to be honest on this blog, otherwise it is pointless. I still miss it. On our dog walk this morning, my husband and I had a long talk about what I was going to do. I am seeing the doctor this week, and need to get this tummy thing completely sorted (it has got a lot better), so not drinking alcohol clearly makes sense at the moment. But longer term, I am still doubtful that I want to live alcohol free. Sorry; I would like to have a more determined outlook, but that is how I feel. I am not sure whether this is a nearing 2 week sober sort of feeling, or whether it is something more solid – but it is undermining my sober intentions.