I simply don’t know how people do it: stop drinking. I’m still only just managing, Day 19, but it is a PAINFUL process. I have just spent the last 15 minutes having a fruitless discussion with my patient husband in which I tried to persuade him to let me have a small glass of wine this evening. But you’re not drinking at the moment because of your tummy, he sensibly said. Why would you set yourself back like that? It would be like picking a scab (he said). He is right but I still feel CROSS and DISGRUNTLED and as though everybody gets this but me. I trudged round the park, feeling difficult, and mentally put up barriers to stop me succeeding. I am a sorry mess, I must say.
Earlier today, I was in awe of a fellow blogger who has just celebrated her first soberversary. She is truly amazing and inspirational (the blog is called Fitfatfood). I cannot imagine ever getting to that stage. Everybody says it gets easier, that it will become second nature, but I feel so stubborn, and as though I’m fighting it all the time.
Meanwhile, it’s getting dark here this Saturday evening. My plea for a glass of wine has been swept away and my husband is going to light a fire, and I’m going to stop whining and chop vegetables instead.