Not good

I don’t feel good today. I feel physically good – and that perhaps is partly the problem. But I feel fed up, angry and hopeless. Another Friday night of sobriety? Another Friday night where I can’t relax, always looking out for myself, making sure I don’t slip? I am trying to write, but I don’t think I can even articulate what is happening to me.

Take a deep breath. Breathe, Annie, breathe.

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12 thoughts on “Not good”

  1. Hi. 299 days sober here. Time to get out of your head. Go outside. Have a piece of chocolate. Take a walk. Meditate. Just do something else besides thinking about drinking. Go to A A. All of it works for me.
    Irishgirl

  2. Don’t forget you are still going through withdrawal. This can take up to three months. It’s physical and emotional. Why do you feel you can’t relax without alcohol? Meetings could help you with that. Do you have a yoga studio near you? I am a huge lover of yoga. It makes you feel so good. Try it. It can’t hurt.

  3. I’ve had these same thoughts and similar feelings all week. I’ve really just had to sit with feeling really emotional and yucky and anxious all week long. As soon as I started to think about drinking, I bring my thoughts back to how I felt last time. It didn’t relax me. It made me feel powerless, empty, shameful. It’s Sooooo tricky moving through these yucky feelings and just accepting them when nothing else will make them better. But, yes, do try a brisk walk, a little extra treat, a bath, a new movie….thinking of you xoxo

  4. I’ve been following your blog for a little while and I have seen other people leave this advice for you, so I’m going to reiterate it – I would like to suggest that you get some counseling and consider going to AA or another type of face-to-face meeting. My husband is on his second 1 year sober-versary. The first time, he made it for 3 years and then thought he could moderate. He couldn’t – he ended up in the hospital. What has really helped him this time around that he didn’t do the first time is seeing a psychiatrist every 6 weeks, going on meds for depression, and going to 1-2 AA meetings per week and getting a sponsor. He also received counseling from a therapist every week at first. Hoping you will consider getting some help. Good Luck! It is a tough progressive disease that leads in only one bad direction and there is no weakness in seeking help.

  5. Annie, you will be fine this weekend! Focus on how good you are feeling physically. I would like a drink tonight too, but I am up to day 24 too and I think I should hold off a little while more. How was your cucumber mint martini?
    Tina Jeanne

  6. Annie my love the weekends are just other days. Hugs lovely, lots of great advice up there. Sober treats, should make life less dull. Are you on daily treats? I prescribe them for a while! 🙂 x

  7. Hi Annie….
    Hope you can defeat the demon that’s telling you that you need to drink to relax…..I know it’s hard because it’s always talking to us…..and it would be so easy to tell it to shut the eff up…..but you have more power than you know girl….find it…..rest….read….sleep….eat…..change your routines!
    You are not your thoughts…..you are the person that is aware of your thoughts…..that girl that knows what she truly wants in her life….and that’s sobriety….
    Hugs….
    Jen day 27 only….and it does get better…trust the process…..
    If you’d like to send me an email….I’d love to be your penpal…..someone to vent to, cry with, laugh with…..without judgment…..and just someone to check in with…..everyday……I need one too….

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