Looking back

Today I looked back and reread parts of my blog. I hadn’t quite realised how many circles I have run since I started it back in September. It made me feel a bit sad, seeing the same old thought processes weave in and out of my sobriety attempts. Have I learned nothing?

Day 27 today and yes, still counting. I have noticed that a couple of other bloggers have decided not to count anymore – but for me, I think stopping counting might signal an attempt to wander from the path, and I am trying very hard to stay on it. Telling my blog what day I’m on helps to keep me accountable.

Yesterday I made a stew which required a sizeable quantity of red wine AND Marsala.  I didn’t shy away from using these in the recipe, and as I poured it all in, I thought back to how I would definitely have had a quick sip in the old days.  Instead, I corked it back up and gave the stew a good stir.  I wonder if I am testing myself, to see if I can turn away and be happy. Actually, the stew was delicious, and not at all wine-y (unlike me in this blog).

9 thoughts on “Looking back”

  1. I think it’s good to look back on your old posts. Can you see a difference? I can! More positive blogs than not and a bit happier about what your doing. Stay with it, I’m more hopeful than ever for you Annie!
    Mary. 💗💗

  2. I religiously counted days until the 70’s. I needed to hear that number everyday. But then something switched and the number isnt that important so I have an app to count my days ❤️

  3. I counted days until I passed one year free from alcohol. I still like to look at the counter every once in awhile to see my progress, but I am not as focused on it as I once was. I say do what feels best to you and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.

    Also- I found reading my blog posts to be super helpful as I went along! I was just thinking earlier today that I haven’t gone back through them in awhile, so I plan to do that soon. I think it really does help with the circular thinking that we tend to do. Congrats on day 27! Onward to 30!

  4. I cook with wine all the time and I have an excellent chili recipe that calls for a lager. It’s really yummy. Doesn’t bother me a bit.

    Your stew sounds yummy. I love the flavor Marsala gives to food.

    Winey…you crack me up.


  5. I tried counting and not counting, and I am finding counting to be helpful for now. Counting on my blog keeps me accountable too!
    My hubby “cooks” (meaning he serves me food from the deli. LOL)
    Happy day 27!

  6. Whatever works – count, no count, sometimes count…just don’t drink and that way you don’t have to count Day 1 again (or try the futility of counting drinks under the heading of moderation, ugh)!

    I really like having the historical blog entries to use as a gauge. That’s a big part of doing this, I think.

    Glad you are going well today. Right behind you on day twenty-odd :).



  7. Annie, As you know, counting really worked for me up to 200 and now I am the point where I actually lose count!! I had to look today – Day 259. Keep going my friend. Some days are easy, some are hard, but I still try to take them one at a time as best I can. Sometimes that is not easy to do – e.g., I found myself worrying a few times already about a girls reunion my college friends just scheduled for November 2015! So I remind myself to come back to today and it is amazing how the numbers add up. You are doing great!! I think going back and reading your old entries was brilliant!! You are learning from yourself and building on your own experience. You should be very proud of yourself!! Via

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