I was determined to make it through our supper party last night – and I did. And it was fine. I didn’t mind drinking fizzy rose and elderflower stuff, almost feeling sorry for my husband and the other man drinking wine. I felt tired by 10pm and wanted to go to bed; wine would have helped me to stay up longer but I know I’d have felt worse for it later.
I am determined; but a gnawing voice is also telling me that I’ve tried lots of times before, that I’m usually ok for the first few days, but that the temptation to drink always gets me in the end.
However, things are slightly different this time. Someone – and I have no idea who – someone has bought me a series of Belle’s audios, the first of which arrived in my inbox this morning. I am absolutely amazed that someone would do this for me. It feels as though someone is walking alongside me, holding my hand, and I don’t want to let them down.
I started my sober bath routine with a vengeance last night. When my son noticed that my husband and I were drinking AF fizz (in the bath!), he was surprised that we weren’t drinking alcohol on a Friday night. ‘Well done,’ he said, ‘you’ll feel so much better tomorrow morning. I am proud of you’. He is 13 years old.
Small saviours, watching me on my path.