This morning I was listening to a Bubble Hour podcast about Getting Unstuck. If I knew how to link it here, I would. I’m so computer illiterate. But it’s a recent episode from January this year. A sober friend from this blog recommended it, and it is timely, because two weeks into my latest sober walk (crawl? run? creep?), I have begun to experience that ‘wishful thinking’, the thinking which leads you down the ‘how bad was I’ route, the ‘this is all quite a big deal’ route…the route back to drinking. It has happened to me every time: I get a few days or weeks under my belt, and then I lose interest, or motivation, or I get frightened, and I start trying to moderate. Someone on the podcast described it as the idea that THIS TIME it would be different, that this time I’d be able to control and quite happily drink one glass of wine a week.
That’s what I’ve been thinking.
Well, we all know how well that will go. And so it is really important that I don’t allow myself to go down that route, and that I keep on with what I’ve been doing so far, which is: not drinking alcohol, texting my sober friend, emailing Belle, reading and replying to comments on my blog, emailing some sober friends I’ve made along the way, having good alternative drinks in the house at all times, treating myself regularly (I find this hard), baths, candles (I’ve always scoffed at candles, but it turns out that candles are good), not looking beyond today, not romanticising the drink, wearing my bracelet, and not pushing the blog away. And not pushing myself away.
14 days today. My aim is to carry on with all the above, and add new things if necessary, and not to let wishful thinking get the better of me.