Tuesday morning. Since my weekend blip, it has felt strange not being on the sober path. I haven’t been drinking, but I’m not counting days, and I want to see if that works better for me. I kept falling at various hurdles, and it’s so disappointing to go back to Day 1, and to go through those difficult early days. It may be that day counting, and the 100 day challenge, or my own personal challenge are the only ways forward; but for a little while I’m going to try something else.
So, I’m not going to count the days for the moment, but instead deal with each day separately. Because, looking back, I seemed to get restless around the 2 week mark, and that’s when I’d often give in.
Last night, I felt the familiar urge to drink as 6pm approached. But I went through my tried and tested routine and opened a bottle of ginger beer, pouring it into a tall glass full of ice. The urge passed, and my evening went well, calm and sober.
I do not know how things will go; I do not know if I can lead an entirely sober life. I do know that when I’m not drinking, I feel better and things go well. I am learning all the time, and am determined not to sink back into oblivion.