Counting days

Tuesday morning. Since my weekend blip, it has felt strange not being on the sober path. I haven’t been drinking, but I’m not counting days, and I want to see if that works better for me. I kept falling at various hurdles, and it’s so disappointing to go back to Day 1, and to go through those difficult early days. It may be that day counting, and the 100 day challenge, or my own personal challenge are the only ways forward; but for a little while I’m going to try something else.

So, I’m not going to count the days for the moment, but instead deal with each day separately. Because, looking back, I seemed to get restless around the 2 week mark, and that’s when I’d often give in.

Last night, I felt the familiar urge to drink as 6pm approached. But I went through my tried and tested routine and opened a bottle of ginger beer, pouring it into a tall glass full of ice. The urge passed, and my evening went well, calm and sober.

I do not know how things will go; I do not know if I can lead an entirely sober life. I do know that when I’m not drinking, I feel better and things go well. I am learning all the time, and am determined not to sink back into oblivion.

19 thoughts on “Counting days”

  1. I totally can relate to what you’re saying. I think we must do it our own way as no one on earth will have the exact same journey. Thank you for your honesty and keep sharing I love reading your blog!

  2. That is the kindest think you can do for yourself.
    Take it one day at a time. Notice the cravings or urges and try something different.
    A number means nothing anyway. Just live in today.

      1. There are some good cbt resources online
        I did that for a while-writing down how I was feeling, what I was doing, etc.
        It helped me a lot.

  3. I can understand you not counting if counting sober days means you spend time and energy looking back and panicking as you look forward. Sound advice from Ainsobriety – “Just live in today” – and as this is harder than it sounds (for me it is anyway!), do whatever helps you to stay present in the present! Love to you xx.

    1. Have now changed my mind about the day counting! But I still think it’s important that I deal with this a day at a time. Annie x

  4. Great advice from ainsobriety and thesobergarden Annie. Happy to see your post here. Yes, Saturday can be just be a blip if you keep going forward one day at a time.

  5. Great job girl. Someday you will look back on these struggles & smile. Sobriety is built on nights such as those, curled up with your ginger beer! And you will be able to help the newcomer so much!

  6. At the end of the day Annie even factoring in the blips you must still be drinking a lot less than you otherwise might be. I think one of the problems of saying that we absolutely have to give up completely or nothing, is that we over drink ‘in the meantime’ until the magical day arrives. That is what I was doing for far too long and being in my early fifties now I feel I’ve run out of time to approach alcohol in a sensible way! But that doesn’t mean you can’t? Take care. One day at a time x

    1. I have been drinking a lot less, but when I do drink, the old patterns reappear immediately. That’s why I want to stop. Thanks for your encouragement. Annie x

  7. Each Day is a New Beginning!
    I like taking life a day at a time.
    It’s all I can do!
    I wish you peace today!

  8. The Bubble Hour recently had a podcast titled Getting Unstuck. It was a particularly great discussion on the various stages of getting sober and they talked quite a bit about trying something different, if the same things you keep trying don’t work. Have a listen, you may find a wee nugget or two in there for you. You are doing so well by the way! As so much to gain from this said, you’re drinking less than you were before. You can do this! Xxx

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