In yesterday’s post, I said I wasn’t going to count days. I’ve changed my mind about that. Although the day counting can be scary, I think it does help me gain a sense of momentum, and may also be helpful (or unhelpful) to other people reading about sobriety.
So, here I am again, on Day 3. I’m leaving last weekend behind, and moving forward. I know what to do; but I need to do it and to keep doing it.
Drinking last weekend added nothing – NOTHING – to my experience of the celebrations. Rather, it made me feel guilty and, quite frankly, it felt stupid. It didn’t even taste nice. I guess alcoholic drinks don’t really taste nice, we just get used to the buzz and then make ourselves believe it tastes nice.
One of my sober buddies has directed me back to Mrs D’s website Living Sober. Amongst other excellent things, it has a section entitled Sober Toolbox, and that’s what I’ve been looking at this morning. I have some good sober tools (AF drinks, bath, books, tv) but I still need more. I was also reading about sober treats on the same site, as I get weary or lazy about treats, and that’s when I tend to cave. So I’m going to be more vigilant on the treat front. All ideas gratefully received.
One of the comments I read this morning described someone needing shots of whiskey to keep her buzz going late in the evening. Seeking the alcohol buzz is one of the things I hate most about my drinking: it’s so futile, so transitory, so…well, empty. I need to find a natural buzz, or maybe be happy with no buzz!