I know I’m in a downward spiral. It’s so strange, because there were parts of today when I felt really confident about being ok around drinking, about going back to my drinking life. But I have this deep, gnawing feeling, this sense of unease. Things are not ok, I am not ok.
I will write again tomorrow. I am going to bed now.
A Dappled Path 
you ARE ok, you ARE a good person. what is not ok is your Addiction. Annie, get some help!!!!!! you dont have to do it on your own or live like this. there is a lot of help available. be brave and reach out so you can get out of that hell hole. please honey!!
Lisa
I agree with Lisa, you really are ok. When I came close to finally stopping drinking it was like my ‘drinking self’ went all out to fight it and try all kinds of crazy stunts that just escalated and made me think I was going crazy. That’s all it is, a last ditch attempt to desperately keep you in this dysfunctional ‘relationship’. It really is like when one person in a relationship knows it’s over but the other will do ANYTHING, try ANYTHING to keep the other in it. At least that’s what it was like for me. You will be ok, you will, you will.
get some sleep
💗
If you want this, you can do it! Sending you good vibes and hope a good nights rest does wonders. Do something for yourself this weekend like a massage or pedicure. Life and the everyday go go go can burn you out. Xoxo
I hope my post today inspires you my friend.
sober4mommy.blogspot.ca
Bed is good. Especially with lots of pillows. Hugs,
Dear Anne,
There is a better life without drinking.
It’s so cool!
You just need to reach out for other support!
ðŸ‘. Wendy
Yes Path, from where I stand you seem to be spinning out of control very quickly.
You know it: The Path is the destination. 🙂 So it is all about searching your own way through life. To find out what is good for you. Take care.
Hugs, Feeling
You’re uncomfortable. It’s part of this whole thing. The part that sucks is, it’s a teeny tiny part of the whole, in the beginning we focus on it because it’s really intense. Ride it out. I live near the ocean so I’m gonna give you a coastal perspective. Lots of folks focus on waves crashing, the spray, the sound, the water rushing so fast toward the shore. If you look beyond the breakwater toward the horizon you’ll see that there are always swells coming toward the shore, they’re these smooth humps of water that are always coming in towards the shore. They’re really beautiful and if you paddle out a little bit you can just float on you’re back up and down while they move toward the shore and you can hear them crash on the beach while you float looking at the sky while you float on the swells as they crash their way to the beach. Ride it out.