Not a social science experiment

I thought I’d better post as there were a few comments starting to appear which suggest I am not who I say I am. I guess we never really know who is behind each blog, but all I can say is that I am Annie, a 44 year old mum with 3 children, just blogging to try and help me on a sober path. Sure, I might seem stuck at the moment, but I’m not conducting some sort of social experiment to see who comments, and what they say; I am just writing, and reading, and trying to respond when I can.

Nothing sinister going on here.

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35 thoughts on “Not a social science experiment”

  1. Very calmly stated Annie! Good for you! Erase those negative comments from your head. There are SO MANY awesome people going down your same path that need your help and you need theirs. I am one of them, let’s stick together. We are making a difference! Ly
    Mary. πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

  2. Hell yeah! And by the way, I think it’s ridiculous that you even have to write a post like this. Although I appreciate your willingness to allow a great deal of free speech on your blog, it’s OK to boot the most obvious trolls instead of stepping around puddles of their word-vomit. People like that get their rocks off by kicking metaphoric ant-hills, and we’re all better off without them.

    1. I don’t really know what a troll is! I’ve just had to google it. This hasn’t really occurred on my blog before, so I’m feeling my way rather. Annie x

  3. I’ve been around this internet for a long time. Trolls are inevitable. Don’t feed them. ignore them and you don’t have to answer to them. thank you for being here. I need your blog.

  4. So 34 nice sweet supportive comments in the last post. 2 “negative” that maybe challenge you and speak the truth. And which ones are you responding to? I am trying to help you more than you think. Get real girl. This is your life your only one. Don’t throw it away as it looks to me you are trying hard to.

    1. You may think you’re being helpful Sammy, but these kinds of ‘tough love’ comments don’t really work. If they did we’d all be ‘cured’ by now. Quitting drinking requires a lot of love and support. It’s a hard thing to do. Anything else is shaming and unhelpful.

  5. Annie
    You have the ability to remove comments you don’t like.
    I don’t think the suggestion that you aren’t real is the point.
    Your struggle certainly seems very real and very familiar to me. I just never blogged about it, so I can’t show you the similarities in our struggles and the huge improvement my life has taken simply from putting down the bottle and looking at my problems with a clear mind.

    The advice is good. Therapy, AA, rehab some sort of help is needed here.

    But bullying you into it is not what most of us found helpful. In the end, it will be the realization that you love yourself too much to keep doing this that will push you to the next step.

    You can do it.

  6. Yes I can see the success of the “non bullying” approach. But you are right rather block me and stay in your cosy bubble. Looks like it’s working for you.

  7. Annie, if you want to delete a troll, you go to the top left corner of your blog where it says “My Site.” You hover over that, without clicking, and you should see a menu drop down. Scroll down to the option that says “Comments” and click on it. Then, click the box next to the commenter you wish to remove. You can either click “Unapprove,” which unapproves that particular comment, or “Spam,” which keeps them from commenting forever.

    You can also require all new comments to go through a moderation process before you approve them. In the same “My Site” menu, scroll down to “Settings” and then click “Discussion”. Scroll through until you find the section “Before a Comment Appears.” Then, click the box that best fits your needs.

    Likewise, you can click the “Edit” option next to any comment on your blog, and mark as “Spam” or “Move to Trash” depending on what you want.

    You do not have to tolerate abuse from creatures who emerged from under their bridge long enough to be ass-hats.

  8. Sammy, why don’t you start a blog of your OWN with all your wonderful advice instead of hijacking Annie’s blog?
    Annie, thank you for putting yourself out there for those of us who are caught in the madness of repeat day 1s. Never give up.

  9. The real value of a blog is in the process of writing itself, the freedom to express ourselves honestly, without fear and without having to edit ourselves to please others. Nobody is compelled to read it or indeed comment but if they do so, it should be with non-judgemental respect, mindful of potential vulnerability.

  10. Annie- you can set comments to your blog to moderated and that way you’re able to screen everything.

  11. oh my God Annie, i have just caught up on all the nasty comments. just move on your journey and ignore them. as if it isnt hard enough!
    be strong, if i can do what i am doing, you can do this too.
    Lisa

  12. Annie, I am so shocked by what I have been reading in the comments. Your blog is for you to help you in your journey. Please take comfort in the fact that we are supporting you and are on the journey with you.

  13. Nasty comments are the last thing that someone in the pain of addiction needs. I was where you are for the best part of thirty years Annie so you’re doing better than I did, by at least having a good go. Good luck. Day 91 for me now and I’m so glad I finally got this far. You will too one day soon xx

  14. Even if you were conducting an experiment (which I don’t for one second believe) the only thing it has proved is that your story rings true for so many people that they feel the urge to stick around and help you. I know I have been in the awful place you’ve been describing for the last few weeks. I wrote about it in my diary endlessly but held off blogging because I was afraid I would wear out people’s patience and attract criticism. You’re braver than that and I admire it. If you have a thousand more day ones (I so hope you don’t), keep writing.

  15. β€œOur greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” -Thomas A. Edison

  16. You are clearly who you say you are — mother and wife, trying to create the best possible life. We all are wishing you well, however that unfolds for you, without judgement.

  17. Annie,

    I’ve been following your blog for some time now. I wanted to share my recent experience with you. On Monday March 23, my mother died of an overdose at 58 years old. She’s had a prescription drug addiction for 13 years and refused help. I had to cut her out of my life when my twins were born because I refused to have my boys see their grandmother as a drug addict. She stopped breathing Monday morning, was revived but she was out for too long. She was on life support until we learned she would never recover without a breathing machine. We decided to take her off and we watched her slowly die in the hospital. If I’ve learned anything this week it is that addiction is something not to be ignored. I couldn’t force her to get help although we tried. She had to do it herself but she never did and it killed her. Now my twins will never know her and I have to live with the regret of giving up on her. I’m not trying to scare you but with what I’ve just experienced all I can say is it’s your choice to get the real help you need. I hope you get help because I believe you really need it. Good luck

  18. Wow. People on the Internet can be viscous. Ignore the trolls and focus on those who support you. Delete and forget. There are so many kind, understanding and just great readers. Trolls do not deserve your attention.

  19. Annie, I just wanted to say that your blog has helped ME tremendously. It helped me on nights when I would cry into my pillow in my bedroom alone… because I truly felt that no one could understand what I was going through.

    I couldn’t talk to my family or my friends about my addiction because they don’t know what to say to help me feel better during these times. They have never been powerless over a substance and they don’t know what it’s like to have a thousand day ones. Over and over and over again. Like the Groundhog Day from hell.

    On those nights I read your blog and many others and it didn’t matter that you weren’t sober at the time. Your words were the closest thing I could get to having someone hug me and tell me that they KNOW how hard it is. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your blog is useless. It is because of your honesty that I am sober today. Soon it will be your turn, Annie. I know it. Keep your chin up, girlfriend :). You will get there.

  20. Annie, I,m a lurker on your website not a regular commenter. I am also struggling with the drinking demon and have been horrified at some of the comments you are getting-I think mostly people delete this sort of viscousness. Would love to hear a peep from you and know you are OK

  21. I have only commented a time or two on this blog but stopped because I felt I did not have anything helpful to say. Please allow this one further comment. After over thirty years of drinking I finally set down the bottle for good when it became brutally obvious to me that I could not continue to drink and help my family. I had wanted to stop or at least slow down for a very long time but my drinking only increased. I knew I should stop, lots of times wanted to stop, but did not stop. Had I actually stopped drinking my family’s situation would have probably not reached the critical point it did but I figured I would find a way through it all and still be able to have my drink. But it doesn’t work that way, not for me anyhow. Things finally reached the point where I was forced to decide between drink or life as I knew it. I don’t think that is unique to me. If one continues to drink year after year one risks an almost inevitable increase in the desire to drink. It was certainly that way with me. I do not think that unique to me either. Drinking is a risk. Drinking is a choice. Neither encouragement or tough love figured in my choice, it was sink or swim. And if you had told me when I was 40 that in the years to come my drinking would put my wife and son in a very bad position I would have probably said don’t worry about it, I’ve got it, never happen. But it did. It’s all about choices. But everyone knows that.

  22. hi Annie,

    I’m sorry I haven’t offered you much support recently, especially when it seems you have been having a really rough time. I seem to be locked out of your blog at certain points of the day (or maybe its certain devices?) I have no clue! Anyways, even if I cant always get on here to post, I am thinking of you. This alcohol free malarky is not straight forward.. if everyone found it easy there would be no problem in the first place!! Keep persevering as you will get there and when you do it will stick and you will massively help others as you will understand. xx

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