Day 2. I am tired. In fact, I am exhausted. And it’s not as though I work down a mine, or have a labour-intensive job: I feel embarrassed that I’m so tired, because I know I am responsible for feeling like this. This is where I need to focus, as I know I’ll feel like this for many more days to come, and sometimes in the early days, I give up because I just think I’ll never feel better, so I might as well drink and give myself a reason to feel rough. That’s the psychology of addiction, I guess, right there.
People on sober blogs often say ‘be kind to yourself’, and I don’t really know what this means. No one ever says this to me in real life. What does it mean? Because I think it is somehow crucial, and something which I’m missing in the 1000 piece recovery jigsaw puzzle which I’m taking a very long time to make.