Through

Getting through the witching hour yesterday was HARD, but I did it. Thank you for all your kind words, and for ideas of how to tackle it. I’ve been in these early days of sobriety before – several times – and yet it still feels painfully new.

If sobriety isn’t working, Belle from the 100 day challenge suggests trying things differently, rather than doing the same thing over and over. So this time, what am I doing differently? Well, so far, the main difference – perhaps the only difference at the moment – is that I am not projecting more than a few hours ahead. Yes, a few hours. Even thinking about tomorrow freaks me out, so I’m not doing that. And the things that work: stocking up on alcohol free drinks; putting that old bath time routine back in place; these I am doing. I’ve had the odd bath in the past few months (you’ll be relieved to hear), but I haven’t savoured the baths, or seen them as being better than drinking. Night after night, the drinking would start at 6ish and would take over, so that apart from eating, I was good for nothing. I would feel horribly tired, and slump into bed half cut, every single night.

Yes, I am still tired, and yes, yesterday afternoon and evening were damn tricky, but there was much less slumping.