Through

Getting through the witching hour yesterday was HARD, but I did it. Thank you for all your kind words, and for ideas of how to tackle it. I’ve been in these early days of sobriety before – several times – and yet it still feels painfully new.

If sobriety isn’t working, Belle from the 100 day challenge suggests trying things differently, rather than doing the same thing over and over. So this time, what am I doing differently? Well, so far, the main difference – perhaps the only difference at the moment – is that I am not projecting more than a few hours ahead. Yes, a few hours. Even thinking about tomorrow freaks me out, so I’m not doing that. And the things that work: stocking up on alcohol free drinks; putting that old bath time routine back in place; these I am doing. I’ve had the odd bath in the past few months (you’ll be relieved to hear), but I haven’t savoured the baths, or seen them as being better than drinking. Night after night, the drinking would start at 6ish and would take over, so that apart from eating, I was good for nothing. I would feel horribly tired, and slump into bed half cut, every single night.

Yes, I am still tired, and yes, yesterday afternoon and evening were damn tricky, but there was much less slumping.

18 thoughts on “Through”

  1. That is good advice..taking a few hours at a time. And the bath is so relaxing. When I find an evening really hard, I go to bed early if possible. I wake up feeling good that I didn’t drink the night before.

  2. So pleased to see you back, Dappled. No slumping is good ! And I bet there are lots of things that won’t be occurring now as you get more days under your belt. start listing out all the grotty things that just don’t happen anymore now that you are not drinking, and then remind yourself, over and over, that for as long as you don’t drink alcohol, these things will never reoccur. I have had nearly a year now without alcohol. I don’t slump, I don’t lose my temper at trivia, I don’t torture myself daily with shall I shan’t I thoughts about alcohol, I don’t wake up feeling sad and low. The further you get away from day one, the more determined you will be to never ever have to go back there. I have seen you write I CANNOT MODERATE a zillion times on your blog. So just thank your lucky starts that you don’t have to go back to that life anymore, and celebrate all those things that you don’t do anymore.

  3. Well done Annie for making it through last night. Just concentrate on getting through the next few hours. Do whatever you have to do. You are doing really well. A x

  4. I have been thinking about you but haven’t checked in on wordpress for a while, so glad to see you posting again. You’re stronger than you know. You’ll get this.

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