Totally miserable this morning. Day One again. I went to a memorial service last night – the father of a great university friend of mine – champagne flowing. You know the rest.
Several people have commented that I need to avoid social occasions in these early days and weeks of trying to get sober; I need to take this seriously. I am going to cancel all social events for the next few weeks if I can, and hide away here at home.
I was like a mad person last night. Once I’d had that first glass of champagne, I spent the rest of the time there seeking out more, crazy crazy crazy. I stumbled back from London, barely aware of what I was doing. The compulsion is intense, and I am going to have to do all I can to crush it.
And I’ve also just managed to put a pack of nurofen in the washing machine, so they’re not going to be very effective.
Sorry. I am hopeless and broken today.