Remembering why

Day 2. I’m quite pleased, as I’ve had a bad run of consecutive day ones, or even day zeros, so this feels like a little piece of progress. It’s very hot here in the UK, with blue skies and a proper summer feel, so tempting to sit back and break open the Pimms. But in the last 48 hours, I’ve enjoyed the clarity of my new plan, and I want to stick to it.

It is taking a good deal of resolve. I am trying to plan each day carefully, moving cautiously through the tricky zones. Yesterday, 5pm still screamed ice cubes, but I steadfastly ignored the call and made supper. My younger daughter’s sports day offered Pimms (again!  See above. It’s on my mind), a strange thing to have at a primary school, but I was glad to have water. The old me would have sunk a few glasses of the other stuff without even thinking about it. And that’s how I feel I’m making a bit of progress, by thinking about it. If I pick up that first glass of alcohol, I will forget why I’m doing this; and I’m doing it because I want to feel better, to feel clearer, to be a better person, someone who can watch her child run a race without needing alcohol at the same time.

It’s only Tuesday, and the double digits seem a long way off. But I’ll keep going and try to enjoy the sun.