Calmer

Day 5, and I have felt calmer today after last night’s will I won’t I rubbish. I was literally like a mad person. But it was the first time I had ever taken such decisive action to avoid drinking. In the past, I would have caved, I am sure. I think the seriousness of the situation may at last be sinking in. This is not a health kick, a fun challenge to keep me busy over the holidays; it’s a case of changing the way I live, to be better for myself and for my family.

I was so grateful for the responses I got on my blog.  When I arrived at the meeting, I sat in the car park before going in and read people’s comments; they gave me strength.  Writing here gives me strength, and sober direction.

For the last two days, I have felt sick and light-headed mid morning. I wonder if this is a sort of blood sugar low, my body’s response to my removing the influx of alcohol sugar? I am forced to eat cake to resolve it, at least for the time being. Have other people experienced this particular symptom?

My friends are coming for supper, and they know I’m not drinking. I emailed her back and forth yesterday, in my mad state, saying I was/wasn’t/was/wasn’t drinking, until she eventually replied, ‘You are properly hilarious; I’m driving so I won’t be drinking anyway.’  All that anxiety on my part, when I really need to have an honest conversation with them at some point. But not tonight. I plan to have a mocktail in my hand when they arrive – they may even want one themselves?