First day of the holiday, and we’re approaching the witching hour – although in the past on this holiday (we come every year) – we drink from the early afternoon onwards. It is taking a major shift in my thinking to tackle this, and I mean MAJOR. The main thing is that my Mum knows I’m not drinking, so she has suggested ginger ale for me this evening. Hopefully that’s the first hurdle sorted.
At the pool this afternoon, we bumped into some good friends who also come here every year, and they are huge drinking companions of ours. I didn’t say anything about my sobriety, I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it, but when they invited us to a drinks party later today, I said NO. Second hurdle sorted.
And beyond that, I can’t think yet. The beautiful surroundings, the sense of relaxation – everything feels like a trigger. But at the same time, I am calm, and resolved. If I need to lean on my blog, I will – it’s been so helpful for me over the past few days.
14 thoughts on “Holiday, and Day 8”
Great choices Annie!!! Keep it up. You can enjoy yourself without alcohol, believe it or not. 😄
Thanks, Mary. Feeling a bit low today 😔Annie x
Think of the big picture. This is just a part of your life. You might not enjoy it as much but the benefits for the rest of your life, health and happiness are so huge and far reaching. Stay strong xx
It helps to think of the big picture. Annie x
You definitely don’t have to talk about it with acquaintances.
Saying no was a big step!
I’m not feeling so positive today. Annie x
Just don’t drink
I love it — not thinking beyond just making sure you are not drinking in the next few moments. Isn’t it a relief to give up all that “will I won’t I” bs? Just don’t drink now and don’t think about later.
Also I agree with ainsobriety, you don’t have to tell anyone why you aren’t drinking or that you aren’t drinking (most won’t notice, one of those weird sober revelations — other people think/care/notice a whole lot less about your drinking than you think). Six months sober and there are still very few people I tell the truth to about why I am not drinking. I either say nothing at all, just order club soda, or tell them I have started having a bad reaction to alcohol (I think I told you this).
I actually really like that particular white lie. First, it stops the conversation. You say, I don’t know why, but in the last week, even the tiniest taste of alcohol sends me running to the bathroom. I guess I just have to lay off until I figure out what’s going on (no one is going to say, “one won’t hurt” when you say “alcohol makes me vomit right now.”) Then later, when you are still not drinking if you want to tell a friend that you are aiming for a sober life, you can say, “remember when I had that weird reaction to alcohol? Well, I played off for a while, and it was harder to stop drinking than I supposed it would be, which scared me, so I took steps (har har) to get alcohol totally out of my life.” See, A lie that works now and gives very little info and will work later if you want to fill people in (and if you don’t, you can say, “Yup, still makes me sick!”).
But the real key is exactly what you are doing: say whatever, do whatever you need to say or do not to take that next drink. Right now, it is consuming all your energy and will just not to drink. We have all been there. Living an honest and spiritual and textbook sober life can come later. Right now, all’s fair. There are absolutely no rules except don’t drink.
Not drinking is consuming all my energy – and I feel really tired. Annie x
Tired is part of the deal. Hard work is tiring, and this may be the hardest work you will ever do. Be thankful you are on vacation, Nap, sleep in, go to bed early. Tired is also your body recovering — you have done a lot of damage, and rebuilding brain cells, repairing the liver, all that is exhausting. Know that it is perfectly normal and will abate in a few weeks (sorry, not going to tell you it is going to happen tomorrow).
good for you! You sound strong and determined.
I’m not feeling so strong today. Annie x
‘Absolutely no rules except don’t drink’ – I like that comment! And you’re doing great – dealing with things as and when they come up, say whatever you need to say, and do whatever you need to do, to not drink. I find it easier not to think too far in front of myself – one thing at a time, breaking things down into manageable pieces, if you get what I mean.
And yes, keep coming back here, keep reading blogs and keep posting. We’re all here for you Annie 🙂 x
Thank you. It is so comforting to have you guys here. Annie x