It is many months since I got to sober double figures, and I’m really pleased to be on day 10. Still very early days, I know, but reading back over my blog, I hadn’t realised how stuck I was around the 1-3 day mark, let alone the months in which I didn’t blog when I was probably drinking daily. I read lots of other sober blogs, and see similar patterns in some of those, so I know I am not alone in this. It is important that I try to keep hold of this fragile momentum.
What a quiet holiday I am having! But that’s ok, and that’s what I need to do at the moment. I have so far refused any evening social events, my family (and parents) are getting used to my ginger ale aperitif, and the kids are commenting on my suspiciously upbeat attitude. It is making my Mum a bit jumpy, I think. I overheard her telling my husband that one minute I wanted wine, another minute not, but she is referring to my life before this holiday, and before this sober quest. It’s not that she wants me to drink exactly, but in the past my drinking has validated her own; my Dad is pretty strict about alcohol, and she and I used to sneak a few glasses in here and there when we could.
Advice from my friends on this blog: just don’t drink, is what I’m hanging onto at the moment. Digging deeper into anything more longterm, or delving into why I drank, why I want to drink…all that can wait while I get used to each day without wine coursing through me. I guess I am missing the buzz, but I’m not dwelling on that as it’s pointless and I am trying to focus on the immediate benefits (see upbeat attitude reference above).