Bit of a slump today, and I’m not sure why. Day 11 is good, but I feel annoyed, restless. As my husband and I walked through the mountain houses, surrounded by such beauty, I found myself thinking of drinking. It is bizarre how these thoughts pop into my head at the most unlikely moments: it’s hours away from the witching hour. Sabotage, rebellion, rearing their heads above the sober parapet, and it’s unnerving.
Each morning here, on waking, I am grateful. I am not connected to a Higher Power, or God – or at least, I don’t think I am – but I find myself saying a short prayer, a prayer to someone to help me stay sober today. Sounds a bit kookie, but I find it helps me when I’m wavering.
But today I am wavering, feeling weak, and as I said earlier, restless. Ugh. So so annoying.