Yes, Day One again, but I’m not feeling sorry for myself; rather, I feel energetic and determined. The children go back to school in the next day or so, and that gives me greater flexibility to get to meetings. I have also contacted the counsellor who I met last year, and whose sessions I kept manically cancelling. First session in a few weeks. I put the sessions off in the past, because I kept convincing myself I didn’t need them, that I was overreacting. Well, I need them.
One of the comments yesterday made me think about my triggers. You’d think I’d be familiar with these, but oddly, I don’t think I’ve ever tried to form any kind of list. We all love lists, so here goes:
- post-holiday blues (see yesterday)
- any time between 5pm and 7.30pm, but particularly 6pm
- sunny mountains, sunny beach or similar holiday vibe
- talking to my friend about her marital strife
- dinner with my husband (if kids aren’t there)
- pretty much any social situation
- films with alcohol in them
I’m sure there are others. So, quite a lot for me to avoid, or to tackle with AF alternatives. Yesterday, sunk in a chair around 6pm, begging my husband to have some wine with me, I could feel the craving consuming me. It was a physical sensation. Awful.