My children go to school on Saturday (I know…), so I was up early to sort them out, make breakfast and to be cheerful. Thank goodness I didn’t succumb to the strong urge to drink last night. One of the sober friends I texted suggested I ‘surf the urge’, a phrase which is probably well known in sober world, but which I hadn’t heard before. So that’s what I tried to do: I sat and surfed. This involved texting various people I’d met online and in real life at meetings, writing on my blog, emailing some people, and drinking a lot of fizzy water. The feeling passed, and I was so glad.
I am trying to remember what the urge felt like, to examine it a bit so that I am ready for it when it happens again. It is hard to describe. It was like a kind of madness, an inability to sit still, a turning around in my head of all the various scenarios. This was accompanied by a crazed putting of bottles in the fridge and then removing them, as well as emails to the counsellor cancelling and then rebooking my appointment.
This time last year, I hadn’t considered going to meetings; now I try and go a few times a week. I am moving forward, I am getting there.
A Dappled Path 
You are doing great! This is so encouraging to me, thank you for sharing this journey.
I am glad to be sharing my journey, though it’s not a smooth one! Annie x
Proud of you. I knew you would get it!
I really do feel as though I may be getting it, slowly. Annie x
Keep going… it’s worth it.
Thanks, Jenn. I am really really trying to keep going. Annie x
It sounds like you’re moving forward and that’s always good.
Yes, trying to move forward, all the time, slowly slowly. Annie x
Annie,
Strength for today… hope for tomorrow.
I like that idea. Annie x
I’m so glad. Surf that urge.
Still surfing. Annie x
Awesome.
this all sounds positive Annie. there is a difference in what you’re saying now somehow. I can’t put my finger on it! we’re all here for you!