Dragging my feet on Day 2. I’ve had more of a spring in my step in past attempts and feel weighed down by the tasks I set myself at the moment. But I know, I absolutely know, I’ve got to push through these first few days and get some ‘traction’ (as Belle suggested – it’s a good word).
I am pleased to have got to Day 2, as I have been drinking daily for a couple of weeks. But tonight my husband is away, and I can feel all the danger signs swarming around me. I’m on a train at the moment, and had been thinking about getting some wine on my way home, but looked down at my phone to discover a message from someone I’d met in a meeting. The timing was spookily apt, a sign from somewhere that I should go straight home and get on with some sensible tasks.
But I must admit, I do feel alone.
A Dappled Path 
You are not alone Annie, I’m back at the beginning too after a few weeks of drinking again. Each time I feel more positive but also more scared because I failed before so many times. I do feel alone even if I talk to people as ultimately it’s our task I guess. We are all right here with you and the support I get from other peoples blogs is amazing, I feel less alone when I read other peoples words… and they sound just like mine 🙂
I have started to be kinder to myself, as Belle said to me on Sunday when I said I’d got nothing done: “But you did get lots done, you were sober and that counts for loads”. Take it easy, do anything else this evening, just don’t buy that wine. I’ve spent most of my time asleep or in the bath… seems to help a lot.
xx
I’m on day three…AGAIN. I’m tired this morning but at least not hungover. You are not alone!
You are alone because that is what addiction does to us. It makes us feel alone, different, broken, incomplete. Feels like the only answer is to drown those feelings in mind numbing substances.
But it is those exact mind numbing substances that cause those feelings.
You are not alone. You are a beautiful, whole, important and worthy person. I know it’s hard to believe that, but it is true.
When you break the addiction and open your eyes you heal not only yourself, but your children, your friends, the world.
Don’t let your fear talk you into isolating and drinking. Hold on to the belief that there is a better life. Because there is. It’s time to grab onto it and not let go.
It’s hard, but it is worth every effort, every tear.
Anne
I agree, traction is a good word. These first few days are really about putting one foot in front of the other, and I like the simplicity of that. Simple but not necessarily easy. And like Belle said, being sober is doing loads. So try not to worry about what you are/aren’t doing as well as/on top of being sober. Instead, try to enjoy the process of getting back to basics and practising more self care. I seem to remember you found the routine of replacement drink and a bath helpful before? Try it tonight xxx
YOU ARE NOT ALONE YOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONEYOU ARE NOT ALONE
Enough already? Alone you are not.
And step away from any bollocking alcohol my dear or I will take it upon myself to pop down and wire your jaws shut.
Get it OUT OF THE HOUSE.
Day 3 here we come ANNIE.
Annie, alone is what you will be if you drink now. Not because of one piddling bottle of wine, but because of the 1000s of bottles to follow. If only we could have one we wouldn’t be in this mess. Chose your husband, your children, choose the life you can have. Not one bottle of wine. Not tonight.
Don’t drink today..that’s all you have to do. As ofhers have said you are not alone…reach out to your AA friends, us or whomever you can for support. Surrender!
Don’t drink today! Call your AA friends, us or anyone you can for support. Surrender Annie…then it all will become easier!