Over the past few weeks, and especially in recent days, I have found it increasingly difficult not to drink. All the good intentions I would make upon waking would start to founder mid-afternoon, and by 6pm I would have bought some alcohol and would drink it through the evening. Any notion of only drinking at weekends has been shot down; apart from one day last week, I haven’t even been able to go for 24 hours without a drink.
I am determined that today will be different, that today I will manage to have an alcohol free day, and that from there I can start to claw back some sober momentum. For much of today, I have felt awful: tired, sluggish and hopeless. This time yesterday I was beginning to feel itchy, anxious that I hadn’t bought any wine, panicking almost. Today, I accept that the situation needs to change. Day counting feels a bit miserable, but I need to build, so here it is: Day one.