I was organising a party last night, and had made sure there were plenty of non-alcoholic drinks available; but as soon as I arrived, I picked up a glass of prosecco and from that moment on I drank like a mad woman. Today, I feel completely horrible: ill and sad.
I took a train to a meeting and am on the way back from it now. I didn’t drive because I was worried I’d turn back or find a feeble excuse not to go, such as difficulty parking. The meeting was helpful, someone talking about romancing the drink. I am guilty of that. The idea of the one or two drinks by the fire scenario keeps holding me back. But the last couple of weeks have been dreadful: I have drunk every day, I have lied, and I am full of fear.