Remember best

I expect lots of people will try and get sober on January 1st, or will at least try for a dry month after the Christmas excesses. And there’s a lot to be said for the New Year’s Resolution, Clean Slate moment. But I can’t wait until then, because I want to get sober now. And I keep trying, but I’m not trying hard enough, or differently enough, and I haven’t succeeded yet.

But I am not giving up.

Today I went to my husband’s office party lunch, a really nice, civilised affair. I had set out not to drink, but I did have some wine. What I remember best about the lunch, however, was the virgin mojito which my husband had ordered for me and which was waiting for me on my arrival. It was by far the best drink I had all day, memorably delicious, with crushed ice, lime, mint, something sugary…all in a tall glass with a straw.

I have been writing this blog for a long time, and it is depressing how little progress I have made. I read other blogs where people’s stories are so much more positive, and I don’t know how they do it. I try, and I have good intentions, but I switch in an instant, my defences against the first drink so weak.

I want to be sober.I want to live a sober life.  This time next week will be the end of Christmas Day, and I don’t want to be in a haze, unable to connect with my family, chasing the glass. I want to remember it all, I want to experience every moment.

7 thoughts on “Remember best”

  1. Annie, one thing you can try is to avoid situations (social events, places where alcohol is served, having it in the house, anything that involves alcohol.) especially in the early part of recovery. It is easier to avoid the temptations than to try to resist.

  2. I just want to clarify my above comment in that I don’t mean to imply that one should avoid these situations forever but in the beginning it might be helpful.

  3. Social events are so hard, especially in the beginning. That was lovely of your husband to organise the virgin cocktail. But maybe don’t go to the next one. Just say you can’t get a baby sitter or something. Don’t give up trying Annie. A x

  4. Annie, you and me, we sound the same. I struggle with sobriety. I struggle with weekends and social events. I struggle with myself. It is very hard. We are making progress. It is just much slower than others. Our stories might be messy but they are raw and honest. Keep on trying. There is hope. We will find our way.

  5. Big hug to you, Annie. Keep trying, you’ll get there! You say you haven’t made progress, butI agree with what T&B said, you have. For one thing, it sounds like you’re much more aware than you used to be about what’s happening. Surely that counts! I love the sound of that virgin mojito, too. I do so hope you have a good Christmas! xo

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