I’m feeling much better this evening, calm and quiet. My husband isn’t well, so I’ve been looking after him, and he is surprised by how patient I’m being, as I can be scornful of illness.
I wish I hadn’t drunk yesterday – it broke the small amount of momentum I had – but I’m getting straight back up. Over the past few days, a few people I’d met in meetings texted me, and I’ve arranged to meet one lady as soon as my kids go back to school. I’m also going to go to as many meetings as I can.
I want to beat this addiction.
I really need the blog at the moment. Despite trying to make some real life sober connections, I do feel alone.
A Dappled Path 
Annie, a blog alone is unlikely to work. I encourage you to seek proper inpatient rehab. What do you have to lose?????????
With love
…
Lisa
Hi Lisa, if you are talking about in the UK, I would love to get more information about it. I work in mental health and where I am in the country you do not get into rehab unless you are at immediate risk to yourself or others, i.e park bench drunk drinking out of a paper bag. If you are not then you must pay for it yourself unfortunately and it runs to thousands of pounds. I am only asking as I had initially been looking for people I work with but latter for myself. I have researched it here but can find nothing that I can access via my GP. Would love it if you have more details. Thanks Annie
Despite how you feel Annie, you are an inspiration for people like me to never give up and get on the “sober train” right now. Thank you and keep posting you’re a little angle! x
Completely agree with Lisa – please check yourself into an inpatient rehab program right away. This is a disease – you wouldn’t deny yourself treatment if you had cancer. Don’t deny yourself treatment for your addiction.
I know you have heard all these things…but remember addiction is not something we beat. It is not about willpower or moral strength.
It is about self care, compassion and choosing to do whatever it takes to break the immediate addiction to alcohol and then to find a way to live the life you are current,y missing.
That life is amazing and free and fulfilling.
Keep looking for help. Seriously consider going to your doctor and asking about treatment options.
Hugs
Anne
so true…get help hon. I can see your strength in trying – and never give up – but sometimes we need more than us to beat this thing.
Oh Annie, I feel your pain but I also feel your courage and determination. My day 1 starts tomorrow 27/12/2015 and I have just written my heart, soul and guts out on my blog. I know everyone keeps talking about Inpatient treatment but like you, I live in the UK (despite the American Annie moniker -long story) and inpatient care is reserved for what all us functional alcoholics think about when we think of someone with a drink problem. Unless you are at immediate risk to yourself or others, you won’t get referred. Having lived in both the USA and UK I know the different health care systems and in the uk it is pretty much pay for yourself,cash! Having said that you can get help via Addaction and you can get referred by your GP or in some counties you can self refer. I will be joining your journey from tomorrow morning and will be your main cheerleader if you return the energy. Chin up Annie, it is possible it really is. You have been there before and you can get there again.
Hi Annie who is also in the UK. Is your blog public? Can I read it? If so, what’s the address please? Annie x
Yes Annie, I gave it to Sober Mummy as well despite being terrified about outing myself. I am very wordy but a lot of it was when I was drinking. It’s gingergroundhog.blogspot.com, I am very bad at punctuation so approach with a kindergarten mentality ha ha.
Glad to see this post. Glad for you.*
I’m sorry you feel alone. Addiction can be lonely…I have found blogging and reading blogs to be really helpful to me but I’ve also gone to counseling too. You can do this. Make it a priority.
Hugs.
Jenn
Sending love and hugs. You can do this. Noddy.