I’m beginning again. I have to. Things have been getting worse, and I can see the downward spiral ahead of me. I desperately want to live a happy, sober life.
Everyone went to bed before me last night, so I ended Christmas Day alone with my self-pity. This morning, I discussed with my husband what has been happening. We were supposed to be visiting friends for a couple of days early next week, and the drinking issue was worrying me. My husband has been unwell over the Christmas break, and so we decided to cancel our trip, and I feel hugely relieved that I can now stay at home and work on being sober.
I have a lot of work to do, but I start again today.
A Dappled Path 
Annie, I mean this with love. Every time you start this journey you think having Pellegrino on hand at social events is going to do the trick. You’re not doing any of the hard work. You need therapy. You need to figure out why you abuse alcohol and what triggers you. You also need to treat yourself like a special snowflake. No, you’re not like the other people in your meetings, all drinking aside. We’re all individuals who are all very different. Don’t compare yourself to anyone, just submit to the process.
Stop socializing for awhile. Take care of yourself. Stop going to parties with alcohol there.
Peace to you!
Your phrase ‘You’re not doing any of the hard work’ really struck me. Making alcohol-free drinks and going to parties expecting not to be tempted is foolish, and I need to face this head on. Thank you for your honesty, and for your advice. Annie x
I’m glad you reached out to your husband. Keep doing that. Support and honesty are keys to success.
Love and strength
Anne
I am trying to build real life support, but I’ve been avoiding it too. Annie x
So pleased you are starting again today, straight away. Now that Christmas is over, family events with alcohol should no longer be an issue. There is no need to go to any parties, you have had enough, there will always be parties. You have a lot of support surrounding you, you have just had three wonderful days of sobriety. Don’t let that slip away. Remember the elation and hope you felt. Get that feeling back, and this time work hard at protecting it.