I expect lots of people will try and get sober on January 1st, or will at least try for a dry month after the Christmas excesses. And there’s a lot to be said for the New Year’s Resolution, Clean Slate moment. But I can’t wait until then, because I want to get sober now. And I keep trying, but I’m not trying hard enough, or differently enough, and I haven’t succeeded yet.
But I am not giving up.
Today I went to my husband’s office party lunch, a really nice, civilised affair. I had set out not to drink, but I did have some wine. What I remember best about the lunch, however, was the virgin mojito which my husband had ordered for me and which was waiting for me on my arrival. It was by far the best drink I had all day, memorably delicious, with crushed ice, lime, mint, something sugary…all in a tall glass with a straw.
I have been writing this blog for a long time, and it is depressing how little progress I have made. I read other blogs where people’s stories are so much more positive, and I don’t know how they do it. I try, and I have good intentions, but I switch in an instant, my defences against the first drink so weak.
I want to be sober.I want to live a sober life. This time next week will be the end of Christmas Day, and I don’t want to be in a haze, unable to connect with my family, chasing the glass. I want to remember it all, I want to experience every moment.