In the early hours, I woke with vertigo. It’s horrible: your head swims as though you’re drunk, or falling, and it makes you feel sick. I had it before once for a few weeks when I had a virus, and I guess it could be a virus again (my husband has been ill for 3 weeks now), but I also wonder if it’s some sort of alcohol withdrawal? I sat with it today, and managed to get on pretty well, but this evening my head feels foggy and thick, and when I bend down, or tip my head back, the vertigo returns.
Yesterday evening, I made a big old fuss around 5.30pm, stupidly and ridiculously begging my husband to have a drink, and to give up Dry January. He calmly noted that this very begging was a sign that I needed to be doing this. ‘But you used to say that it would be good to aim for moderate drinking, to abstain during the week, and drink at weekends! You used to say I could do that!’ I said. ‘I don’t think that anymore,’ was his reply. So we opened a bottle of alcohol-free fizz, and some crisps and ‘chewed the fat’ talking about something else. One of my worries about not drinking is that I will miss this time with my husband, the chatting over a drink time. But lo and behold, we were still able to talk without alcohol! And an hour later, the craving had passed, and I was fine.
And then this morning, vertigo. I’m a strong person, generally healthy, and the notion that I have been doing myself harm is alarming. I need to pay close attention to any symptoms I’m experiencing over the next few days. Day 3 has felt long, and difficult.