Lighter

Much less vertigo today, thankfully. I’ve still got a foggy feeling in my head, but the extreme dizziness has vanished as suddenly as it arrived. I really think it may be tied in with yesterday’s Day 3, and many of you commented about similar symptoms around that time. It’s frightening, but at the same time reassuring, because I feel that I’m moving through that particular symptom, and will now await the next.

Day 4 and I feel a bit lighter today, more positive, as though I’m settling into things a bit.  It helped that the weekend was the beginning, as Monday now feels more do-able. What strikes me particularly is the feeling of having more time, so I’m not so panicked about my job starting later this week, and feel I’ve got time to prepare.

Sure, I’m still finding it difficult to contemplate not drinking in the future, and am very much having to take this one day at a time; so many times in the past, I have derailed because the idea of being teetotal, of being sober, suddenly can feel overwhelming and impossible. But I am hoping that I will build some sober strength over these January days, and that my mindset will shift. Using AA words, I guess I haven’t surrendered yet.

5 thoughts on “Lighter”

  1. Day 4 for me Annie too and I must admit that I felt horrific on day 2. I was so relieved this morning though, to return to work after the Xmas hols in one piece. The last few months have been ridiculous and I ended up in some mortifying states! I am disgusted with myself really. But I, like you can’t contemplate the never agains, even though I know deep down that it has to be as I can never ever moderate. If the past 18 months have taught me anything it’s that!
    So I’m not going to think about sober camping or my daughters sober 21st in May. I’m going to think about today. I’m glad that we can try again together Annie although I can’t seem to access my original blog for some reason.
    Take care
    Love Sarah (somuchtogainfromthis ) x

  2. Well done Annie, even you writing feels lighter. I know different things work for different people and my best friend stopped drinking by only thinking about today but for me I have to go with the never again as I know me and if I have one I’m off again unstoppable for months at a time. Do what works for you and stay positive.

  3. Day 3 for me, with a big huge fail smack in the middle of my 100 dry days. So sad and disappointed – exactly where I didn’t want to be and where none of us want to be, but here we are. Happy to see you are trying again. So will I. Good luck. -kari

  4. I try not to focus on the future. I am trying (really hard and sometimes very unsuccessfully) on one day and one day only. But it is hard, I admit. Just keep on trying. As long as we are trying there is hope for us. Don’t give up.

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